Daphne :D

2009-04-29T10:16:00.001-07:00

PLEASE RELINK & TY :D
http://www.twelves-toryline.blogspot.com
sorry , i didnt really bother to go around and tag for relinking cos i decided to change the link at midnight-.- so im now just done with it and im off to sleep :)
those who wants me to relink/link you up please go to my new blog and kindly leave a tag ,
i will relink/link asap and sorry for relink/link-ing you guys up so slow , cos im lazy =p.

2009-04-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

booooohoooooo ! firstly , i gave school a miss today . i woke at 8am plus scolding my mum why didnt she wakes me up before forgetting i myself was the one soundly asleep and rejected of being awaken -.- so i went back to sleep happily till 11plus and started my ic , oh great im done with mindmaps leaving my report and reflection undone only , this feelings of satisfaction is great i swear. not only this , combining with a feeling of getting my vaio laptop , ohmy ! im like happy till the max and i shared this joy to some idiot who is abnormally stoning over the phone hahaah & surprisingly the idiot send back with a few "hahas" which is like so FINALLY PLEASE ! so yeah im leaving my house soon to choose the lappy i want with papa and mama , alright not pick cos im sure going to get my vaio red lappy I ONLY WANT THIS . hahaha sometimes i couldnt stand my stuborn character cos my father says ARSUS / Hp is better cos ARSUS is the new brand at korea or japan ah & hp ones lasts longer. err.. i dont know haha but whatever it is , who cares ?! i only love the exact one hehe ^^ . ohyeah im currently busy doing my english LA work too , haha how long since i last been so hardworking ? laughs ! okok i guess till here , im really least at the motivation of blogging , in fact im more into spying other's blog , esp those ones which makes me cant help myself being filled with overwhelming envy/envious !
hahaha ! but i love my way of life now ! :) cos i dont have to hang onto something which makes my heart so god damn heavy and thoughts in my mind daily . now , i've got a brain which is like occasionally "emo" mode and often in a HIGH SPIRIT mode ! so great isnt it :) . hahaha.

i loves to see those who held me up at my lowest point of life being happy ,
i loves to share joy with them , no doubt they are the best ever i had !
alternatively when they are low , i would try my best to makes them happy ,
like how they used to , but it seems like i dont have much of this ability ):
but the moment they are back to normal again i can be so high spirited !
so yeah , stop stoning get hyper all !

2009-04-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

alright 2nd post for today again , time check its now 2.28am , & obviously im still not asleep yet , cos i just get to finish that wongqingqing's work and im still applying the cream on my hand , anw i think is about to rain once again ? hopefully cos is like so hot that theres a few kind souls out there stoning just now which makes me feel so failure can cos i cant make them high which previously i all along can . argh , i think one shld be happy to cheer another one up hor ? in th end i kana influence and so i only did that wsq's work and my whole piles of work , after 1whole day is still undone . grats to me , scoldings for tmr . argh but now i couldnt help but stoning and thinking about matters , whatever it is im going to sleep already cos im rather tired today and yes my back aches like shit now ! cfm rain one la tonight -.- zzz. till here dudes.

at my lowest point of time you're the one guiding me , holding me up ,
you aint one that will make a stand but one who speaks something that wakes me up ,
ppl says true friends are hard to find and i totally agree yet i felt so failure that i failed to make you felt entertained . i seriously dont know whats wrong . but i wont force you to say cos you aint one who will speak out , argh . all i can wish and says is , stay happy please joker ! HEEHEE:D

2009-04-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

out of randomness(:

updated //

boohooooo ! im back one again , took bus 27 all th way to see the sinseh , waited for kinda long then checked my hand and thnks ar ? the first doc i see say 2weeks for recover , ok nvm . now this one 3weeks to 6weeks-.- i cant tahan already ! grr. then checked my back and previously my leg one long one short mar so he check again then the back was expected to be slanted abit lar cos i find that my back recently keep hurting then just keep at there let him" krak" my back and neck and leg lo. LOL. waited for mama to see the sinseh then ate , ok i did ate something at least today is like a spoonful of rice ? with some bitter gourd , fish and the sausage or what i dont know how say . my appetite is getting smaller and smaller lo. see so stress lo ! hahaha. joking(: then took taxi home im seriously very tired that i slept all the way till i reached my hse ,bathed and here im posting. oh ya i was saying today not a good day for me yea ? firstly , early the morning i woke up , on song through phone while tdying hair and prepare the first song already makes me in a emo mode alr but its a meaningful song:D . on th way to school put on earpiece the first song is gaoxiao already then is like so zzz cos the lyrics blablabla si diao blablabla de like soooooo ... low ! then nv assembly at courtyard , went in class i straight away put on my earpiece again & sleep , girlf come look at me like very shock haha. after that i can say all th while in class i've been thinking through lots of things , past memories gush to & forth in my brain like so messy can -.- keep on sleep and sleep like pig except for maths but dozed off for a few times yet was being waked up by mr nazied just because today mrs yoga came to our class to see how he teaches . ok lor give him face so i keep on scribble things on my foolscap to divert attentiona n not keep thinking of sleeping then blablabla la , after school gotten the class fotos we ordered i sian diao lar ! i shld have bought the collage one can , fuck-.- ANYONE WILLING TO SELL ME ?! zzz. obviously no . then wanted to do ic work in th end ... ict lab only opens on fri and the rest lab no inspiration software forget it wanted to go home alone , saw yhy , it seems like once the bell rang you can see till her already she like fly down like that hahaha. walked home with her and halfway i took bus 163 home and then thats all lo. argggggggh i hate emo-ing neither do i wants to but then i just dont know why i felt very low tgt with the rain and just now went tampiness mall there , bus 27 happens to drives through some places which makes me sooooo EMO-ISH ! nvm i guess tmr will be a better day i will be HIGH :D .

time is the best medicine for me now i think & is just the starting now yet im feeling so hard to breathe and i cant help myself from stop thinking those stuffs . i know i shouldnt but i've been living this way for 1yrs plus so tell me how am i going to adapt at this sudden change ? but this is the only way of paths which would marks the ending better ... im left with no choice so im also left with no choice with all this sufferings .. ):

alright im just back home and i gt to go out soon to see the sinseh for my idiot lil finger which has been swollen for 1week plus. anw today aint a good day for me , partly cos of the rain i think ? idiotic weather , think back last week's matter compared to this weeks' hahah , certain things changed like omg ? 360degree lols ! ok i will update again when i got home , hopefully i can have some appetite for my dinner ornot it would be the 5th day today haha. cya guys :)

2009-04-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

irritating i dont know why i couldnt upload photos and just today i got damn freaking lots of photos wanted to upload ! alright sorry to kailing cos she is like msn keep saying cant wait to see those fotos haha. anw happy birthday to that damn guailan priscilla who always suan me non-stop! -.- so yea school was SPECIAL for me today , a brand new day and i love it :) .

lesson was as usual finally i gotta know how to do gong han ! then maths was kinda fine , LA was slacking and i couldnt remember what lessons we've le hehe psps. then stayed back and yeaaaah swensens cake ! freaking funny can the thing frozen till cant be cut i just went to the chicken rice store grab a hand of fork than give them wah all chiong and eat like those nv eat cake before like that hahaha all thanks to me cos if for that tang to cut i think need 100years later , simply can forget about it regarding his lousy skill hohohos !

OHYES ! im damn freaking high in class today or you can say it as abnormal ? cos i keep singing this song by ella " qiangqiang ni yo ji de wo ~ " not only this i was frantically asking ppl if they have it and send me yet none had so nvm i change song to examples like " wo bu hui chang ge " " ji de " " hui gu niang" "everything " ... alot more i tell you . oh damn it tmr im facing a long list of bill cos school gots lots of glasses broken by me ok i shal skip school tmr then hahahahah ! joking lar of cos my voice so nice lor i sing ! HEHEH ^^ (IM OBVIOUSLY JOKING COS IM NOT THICK-SKIN-ED PLS HAHAAHAH ! ) then went back class for asp , didnt really catch much of what mr nazied says today cos i was day-dreaming and yes busy singing my " qiangqiang ~" & sms-ing away hahaha . went to find ryan wong at about 3plus , i swear d&t block is fcuking scary can-.-! couldnt get to find him so put the art piece on his table , i hesitated to get out of the school to get back for cl test , but i decided not to cos i thought can tmr but then halfway ms dai used gf phone to call me. oh bitch fuck off , fail jiu fail lor . im not one who cares much about this kinda shit yeah every knows hahaha.

headed to kfc next to find that yhy , thought she at the florist shop in th end at kfc-.- idiot. didnt even bothered to sit down just saw them and walked off anw i dont intend to eat too haha. so went to skcc , played and then saw priscilla god we bought a sunflower for her cost 12bucks she can say not nice ! idiot hhaha . then played bball and not awhile tomansi came tgt with peiqi and thnks kohpeiqi for bringing me a " buffalo " /" pig " / "hippo" pattern shirt hahaah whatever it is thnks anw cos im like zhao geng whenever i jump though i wear fbt lar . but whats worst was when i wanted to take the ball from the window top that time th wind blow and my skirt went " boom" hahaha nvm luckily im fast enough to cover it down anw also nothing -.- hahaha.

played all the way till 7plus going 8plus im damn tired can zzz. hahaha. went home with spicy snack wrap for dinner . ytd was kfc snackers , the 2days before was nv eat haha ! i myself dont know why too just dont have the appetite for the actual meal , like today my recess time i ate the porridge and drinks only then after school nothing much bt the cake . HAHAH im on diet ! LOL of cos not lar cos i find that eating is happy but dont knw why just dont have appetite haha. reached home and watch pingpangyuan i seriously think he sheng wu should win please . know why ? He JiaJun is too far arrogant and i hate arrogant ppl & i hate ppl with no initiative , totally sucks. alright this second point has totally no link with this shows lar haha i just happen to make it a remarks ^^
.whats worst his name is He JiaJun hahaahahah ! winks* i think some knows what i mean by that. anw , thats all i think for today just keep laughing non-stop due to the presence of kohpeiqi and tomansi except for awhile of sian mode hahaha .till here :)

dear readers , if a fairy god mama wants to grant you a wish what you wants ? ( asked by the random yhy ) :
for me , i would one to find someone reliable and i would love to be with and stable down everything and that someone can show care, concerns, sweetness to me & muchmuch more as one who fit to be a lover in my heart . ( hahaha yhy happen to ask me one que cos she was shocked by my wish i myself too cos ... hehe not going to say it out ! =p )

alright till here i guess , IM SERIOUSLY A LUCKY BITCCCH :D:D:D
& beware im someone who SPY hahaha ! you obviously fit to be that one except for one criteria hahaha ! ok im just joking obviously cos i've got no one in my heart now !
oh yes there is , someone who called BASKETBALL HAHAHAHAHA :D

2009-04-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

alright 2nd post for today , anw didnt went to watch home-u match cos some stupid one hurt her ankle ytd while banging onto her teamates and lost balance-.- dumb hor ! so cos of her we decided not to go le see you're influencing lor . idiot. so she is not playing then our main purpose is to see her play and so we give it a miss and they won haha ! i think nxt time dont go better hahaha. ok so yea then that yhy good lor i go then tell her dont want go le she go home left me with tomansi they all so chatted abitbit and tomansi and her brother headed home left me and sq and priscilla so went play awhile jiu go home le . saw samantha hahaha board bus tgt and went rp get my snackers from kfc hhaha and yes my dinner is just 4 winglets then abit of fries cos the fries seriously sucks when it is soggy ! HAHA so thats my dinner , i find that the more stress im the more i cant eat sia. unlike my poor sandra gf , she more stress keep eating haha bt nvm eating is good ok gf dont be too stress and relax ! :D n yea went to watch tv , hong xin da jiang, i seriously think bai wei xiu is damn pretty lar haha ! so yeah , here im posting while chatting away in msn . ohyes i haven finish ms dai work so yea forget it lar i give up hahaha tmr staying back school do :) and i haven turn into " schooling" mode again so fast my weekeneds is gone once again ! gosh , assignments n test pls get lost ! GRRR.

FOR GOODNESS SAKE ! MOTHER EARTH :
i beg you dont so fast extinct can ?! 2010 ?! CANNOT LAR ! i haven even build up my standard for bball and i haven played a tornament and i still not settled down and find someone reliable for me to lean on AND YES I GOT ALOT WISH UN-DONE ! PLEASE DONT EXTINCT SO FAST ): !

2009-04-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

booooooooohooooooo ! flooding homwork , assignments , test and more ! alright i slept at 3am plus ytd night and woke at 2pm today , get my cupnoodles i bought ytd which i didnt ate as my breakfast , alright it sounds wrong ar ? 2pm breakfast ? haha so yea shld be lucnh lols ! argh , im sorry wong shuqing ! i cant get your mindmap finish on time ! dont know for what freaking reasons my 1mindmaps and shuqing's went missing and i cant open my inspiration , they keep on say "bitmap not valid " huh ? bitmap not connection one meh? argggh i dont know whats wrong with my comp , i've been thinking from just now till now , will i be so " asking too much " if i ask for a laptop from mum now ? cos i jus gotten new phone , alright i really dont know , but im glad i still can enter blogs and msn all these yeah is still usable i mean 1/4 usable ? i dont know ): how i wish i could have vaio laptop ! the new one omg is damn nice but i know i shldnt be asking too much . so im staying back tmr for my ic though theres no training -.- and my cl test is so dead cos i frget to bring my chinese shou ce home and no need study already lor. then my workbook also dont need do already , oh fish . not only this im so stuck with my cl compo i knw i shld get it done cos i've been owe-ing that Ms Dai for mths but i just cant get my brain started and tune it to the compo " chinese gong han " mode . and yes im getting busier and busier somehow i like it cos it kept me occupied and prevents me from day-dreaming and yes is also making felt tired cos im one who are totally noob at handling stress and time management , it seems like i've nothing im good at excepts for eating and sleeping , attitude-ing , wasting time , slacking and something i just get back to few days back but im going to stop it too. i dont want let my effort down drain cos stamina is hard to get back . and yes i think i gtg to get my chinese done and im meeting yhy and the rest to head to sbc for the home-u youth match . & ytd night i've gotten a damn funny dream haha. is already over but i dont knw why i still got this dream , nvm cos im happy :) . hahah. alright till here and i miss someone alot ! ^^

2009-04-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

booooooooohooooo ! alright is kinda late at night now and im just done with my blogskin hahah! idiotic me , i've been finding hard for plain and nice one , though i dont really like black blogskin cos i find it so ... dull ? but well nvm give this a try cos this blogskin font and design is quite nice anw. haha. ohyea i couldnt put anysongs in yet theres a problem with it so i gotta wait for vivian
to give me a help tmr when she's online :) oh fuck weekeneds are ending all i wants and could think of is just bballing non-stop though my finger is still swollen and hurting but well cant help it cos basketball is my passion and i will never wants to quit it anymore , lemme thinks what i've left , 1article and 2mindmaps for ic , 1mindmaps for that wongqingqing , cl compo ( nearing 1mth of oweing-.-) , art . not really alot i can say if i willing to do i think i can finish within a day but sorry im too lazy to start . if i let someone see these i will be naggged at again luckily she dont know my blog link hahahahaha ! okok i will try to change my working attitude , no is a must LOL. i myself knows it clearer than anyone else actually haha. and yeah went for sl , finally it marks the end of this whole piece of shit :x but i learnt lots from it too :) . went study , alright just not yet switch to exam mode so im stuck with slacking and sms-ing away and i decided to head home for a rest cos i slept late and woke up early today . went home not awhile came out again to meet hy and the rest to watch match , alright is like almost every weekeneds i will head to sbc-.- including tmr to watch the actual group that i like haha home-u YOUTH \m/.
hehe^^ but fyi today we went to watch home-u big team not home-u youth , wah like what hy say that they cfm will scored 100 plus in fact they did-.- then when they ended we played match , laughs all of us sweat like hell , during normal games or tournament we dont sweat as much as today lol ! then yes my blister is coming out , painnnnn D: . headed home with justin , weichong , hy , shuqing , joy , bernice thru bus 80 and went 7-eleven to buy cupnoodles for dinner but till now i haven ate yet . is been two days that i skipped my dinner and i dont kno why i just dont have the appetite today neither dinner or lunch whats worst i woke up in a rush and i hadnt had my breakfast so tell me , what did i really ate today ? roughly just a small plate of beehoon and those desserts for the buffet of sl . hahaha , im superhuman that i dont have to eat . oh i remember i said this to someone before haha. pimples are popping out ! 3 on my foreheaddd , god damn it , i want to shed it offfffff i hate pimples , i dont have any pimples till this year wtf -.-
alright thats all for today , sayonarraaaa ~

its confirmed to be hard in the starting but w.o this hardship ,
there will never be gain and now i can only be envy and never will i be like those bliss ones.
but i knows that love couldnt be forced too , the right ones will comes :)

2009-04-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

alright time check is now 1.29am :) im still thinking about certain stuffs but im not crying this time round as i promised. anw the above video is taken from youtube it may load quite slow and plays for quite long but as long as you on and pause it awhile it will load kinda fast alr then yeah is kinda long video but its nice and this songs is wonderful . i hope i've made the right choice and hopefully happiness would always with you and i can be happy too . if is yours means it will be yours if is not , then just end it after this whole day i learnt about this and i made up a decision for something that i've been holding on for veryveryvery long which is no point and yup im now moving on :) alright shall talk about some school stuffs , thnks lot ryan wong allows me to hand in my pencil holder on monday and im stuck with my ic again im like so lazy to do haha. times flies and once again shoo~ school ended , homed and after that went skcc but not much ppl and kinda boring then left for compass. roughly is like that le. nothing much. ohyea, i hate people who looks down on lesbian or despise them . well they just simply have no rights to take one example of what x said today totally pissed me off. for goodness sake lesbians are humans too for your information they dont need your criticism or discriminations they have feelings and prides too so just jolly well " SHHHH" :) .

we've ended , been holding this for veryveryvery long ,though you have left me with tears and sadness but i still remember those happiness we once have. as i've said thnks for everything , you coloured my life , there will never be a second one you're the first and also the last one but to my regret we will never be . but its okay at least theres memories left and a happily ending. for you , i will hold back my tears and i will work hard . i know you've been trying to give me care and concern , thnks for your giving in and i've got lots to say but blog aint save so yup , though the ending werent what i really wanted but im elated at least we have got things said out , we somehow like the past for that lil tiny bit of while and yes i will miss you definitely lots but i will still move on happily just for you and i hope you will be happy like how i first saw you , your smile and laughters is the most wonderful thing ever in my life . you coloured my life and brighten it up with giving me a imperfectly beautiful past and memories. Lastly , the song is specially dedicated to you , loves :] .

2009-04-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

Grats girls for winning the championship of North Zone :) jiayous !

Nationals alright ,kangbai jiayou ! :)

school was usual , and another day that i didnt sleep lol. had homecon test kinda easy followed by history test and wthell i can finish it and i knows how to do yet not enough time-.- headed off right after history and went to watch the girls match alright the referee just abit unfair but nvm they won by their skills :) . such and such ... presentation and prize giving & yeah thats all then we headed back to school and i walked home alone . Sometimes its great to be alone too .

i dont know why i've this thought of quiting and giving up basketball , when its the time that i can train i injured my hand , its been 1week already , maybe i just dont suit basketball. i think i need some days to think it all over...

i dont know why we will come till this day , this stage ,
those happiness that once ever had happen seems to be covered up by disappointment and sadness one by one .. i felt tired and i no longer knows how to get this go on.
somehow it tells me that no matter what im just like a fool and the answer remains ,
at the very last of all what i gotten in return will be just one word "fool" and nothing .
when the time i need you the most , where are you ? none other else but just you could makes me felt settle down and yet you wasnt there... all along i seems to be dreaming ,
dreaming that things would be back like the past but yet ... im just being a damn idiotic fool.
foolishly holding onto something that could NEVER be back ... i felt tired , real tired ...

2009-04-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

alright is kinda late posting and is pouring like nobody buissiness now , finally i know why my backaches so much ! see is more accurate than anything else including the weather forecasting cos since morning my backaches had already started hahaah! and yea back to school today , my throat is still kinda painful . lessons was very energetic dont knw why i felt very motivate out of a sudden ? haha. times flies and shoooo~ is around 1.30pm bell rings ! haha. stayed in school for lunch but out of a sudden i just lost my appetite , wanted to go void-deck with girlf , but saw xinyee and caiyun so went 260:) oh how long was it when i last slacked with them? haha. awhile later went meet huiyee and headed to skcc , YEAH THANKYOU TOMANSI FOR MY HERSHEY ! FINALLY LEHH:D:D:D ! HAHA. and im stuck with my maths from afternoon 2plus till all the way at night ! laughs ! great thanks to TOMANSI ! for teaching me , cant believe a tomato could be so pro in maths . haha. oh yea i gave training a miss , since im not doing anything why not just either spend time on my maths or ic all this stuffs ? yup i've decided that i will only go training when i cleared my works and my academic is stable :) so yeah , im very stuck with Expansion and Factorisation of Algebraic Expressions , thnk god today i got some tomato so teach me that i understand better cos is like almost all im clue-less omg-.- i cant let this continue thus im determined to get a A2 for maths . Ohyeah finals tmr ! girls gogogogo jiayous okay :) you guys cant get it , sorry i cant do much but well love you all :) ! alright i just finish with my maths is actually supposed to hand up on monday but im suddenly very into it haha. and my ic left 1more article ! YEAHYEAH :D ! im happy im like clearing my work already ! tmr i shall clear my art ! alright i really have to learn time-managment haha ! okay i got to get rid of my tmr-then-tmr-do habit ! HAHAHAH . okay till here all byes :)

im satisfied with now , thanks and i've think it through ,
no matter how the ans would be , i will move on ,
i guess im already tired too so yeah we shall see how it goes ,
is fated :)

2009-04-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

alright i gave school a miss and slept till 12pm plus , ate and headed to doctor . oh i've yet to say why i didnt attend school . ytd around midnight my gastric was hurting me like hell , vomited 2times-.- then went back to sleep and felt better already so yea . then when morning woke up , my i dont know how to say is the stomach there but the top part there still very pain anw i got some sore-throat and giddy so mum tell me not to go school . eat porridge and went back to sleep till 12pm plus headed to the doctor and the doctor says my throat is have infections and swollen then not enough sleep so actually wanted to give me 3days of mc but i dont want . haahah. so this everything costs me $42 . what a month of april , just this month i guess i spend more than 2000 zzz-.- somemore i went for a haircut , super short hair im having now is at NECK LENGTH :) hahaha i like it cos is more convenience la dont need tie butbutbut , if i dont tie go school i guess i will got alot of negative comments like " act cute ah ~!" something like that lar so i decidded to tie and go school :) then back home and here im posting ! alright not much things to post cos im busy chatting away haah , bye ppl !

Is going on and how long could this goes on to ?
how great would it be if i've got a definite ans for this
and how great would it be if i've now got a definite decision from my heart.
but im just stuck with you ...

2009-04-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

Alright im home early today and time check now is 5.12pm evening , is kinda sunny but well i gave training a miss due to asp and homework tgt with my hand injured anw im not playing so yeah go there for ? lols. well today school was very slack cos we left class at 10.30am due to the semi-final match so yea only attend one lesson , hey girls you guys done well alright and yeah grats for winning once again against yishun town and vivian my dear you rocks :) you looks damn suai today lar ! haha. and yeah went back to school ate and then i rush for asp already wellwell , i hope to have more asp ! cos i want my maths to improveee puhpleaaaaaase ! and i think due to studies , maybe i will not attending those match they have against NATIONALS already anw go also do nothing hahah should really focus more for mid-years ! i want at least a B4 for maths please no B3 ): ! after asp went 260 to buy my CHOCO-MILO , no changes is standard :)! Then halfway saw wenjie and his friends which is damn irritating when they say about soemthing ! then headed to compass get mum some food and bused home with jasmine sim tgt , had a chat then alighted and home sweet home , aww is been long since i felt so great and enjoyful at home , lack of house warming ? hahahah laughs ! im here now eating and i find something kinda funny . april fool is a day where we likes to fools ppl and yeah theres this jokes i had with my vivian chua they all on something & now this something comes to somethig like ...gonna be real or i should say is becoming more serious and more ppl knowing it ? it starts with a joke yet now it become something use to disturb me withhhh grr. haah. i just find it kinda funny alright i dont know how to say cos i myself dont even know what im thinking . maybe i need to have a clear thought first ? LOL. is very unbelievable but well it will never happens too:)
i dont really expect anything on it cos anw i do have something which mean more than anything else in my heart right now so yeah , shall just focus on my studies and thats all oh please i want no more troubles haha ! Alright , im off to sleep , i just cant focus to do my ic so yea call me a P-I-G cos i love to sleep and eat with all my mights and all i can ! haahahahah ! FATTY BOMBOM IS ME :) . okay good-evening dudes im off to sleep yup ! :] .

2009-04-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

Reply of tags :

tkxD : yeah you're good my dear hahaha ! daily tagged me :) . HAHA sheryl that fool of APRIL !

Sandra : School got friends to accompany me what so hyper ma. At home alone confirm will think through certain things , its unavoidable :) but i will try to cheer alrights .

TkxD : yeahyeah haha thnks for you tags . nope no more rainbow already !

WENJUN : yup i miss you ! Your head la clear schedule now end of april soon liao also nver meeet me ! forget it lar ! ass , disappointment ): !

Sheryl : dear sheryl , im okay lar ! HAHAHA , deardear , like write the letter like that , dear sheryl , I LOVE YOU haahah !

kuanyi : wah how long never tag me le ! ): hahah. what ah en , you ah yi ! LOLL. dont call me ah en laaar so nan-ting hahah , missesss!

tkxD : haha , is not healthy now wheres my daily taggy ! :x human's nature is greedy :D

Vivian : LOL , you put lar you want see !

Pearlyn : alright , im really lazzzzy tooo lar ! haha. okok asap !

Tk xD : of cos la my choice horhor ! :x hahahah.

Vivian : yes ! call me 12 ! 12 rocks haha im going to take 12 for the nxt 2years too though is kinda boring but i want collect as many 12 as i can with my ability ! woos ! :)

all the tags above are those which are kinda long ago and not shown on cbox now .
click on OLDER MESSAGE to view these tags , thanks :)
SORRY FOR LATE REPLY ! ):

2009-04-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

im damnnnnnn bored right now at home . just finished my lunch . alright im stuck in hommmme and when i just woke up is kinda raining and now ? look how bright the sun is ! what a weather !
and when im alone at home something came across my mind which makes me feel so... moody i can say . friends ? oh you call that friends , what the true meaning of friends ? i guess i need someone to teach me about it . alright i guess .. just forget about it cos im too tired . afterall , it my problem i think no is all along my problem which i never get it . okay i dont really know how to describe it out now through words partly is because my english standard isnt high :) But im glad ,i've got some true ones who all along with me , either its schoolmates or friends outside :] .
you guys makes me feeel fortunate to have such friends , rock on ! Well after all , friends comes and goes true ones will always be the one staying on with you . Is just a matter of time . thats all i guess , hmm im not describing anyone okay haaha i just happen to came across this and comparing my past n now . SEE ! im sentimental ! HAHAHAAH . alright mum is coming back soon with my contact lenses and im still feeling bored right here , IS TIME TO WORK ! off to sleep hahaha ! cos im one who is super lazy bummmm & yes i say NO to homework though theres is 2 compo i mustmustmust finish by today , well just get off from meeeee ! irritating !
okok i want my sleep now bye dudes will update later , maybe ?

dont hold me on too long cos i dont know how long this patience can last me with ,
when theres starting there always ending , when you're meant not to be mine
there must be someone out there for me , i guess ?
just when this one will appear or just when you will be back ?
is always no definite ans.

2009-04-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

alright im late for YOG today -.- thankgod i woke at 8am and spend half-an-hour to spam call vivian chua and 12 CALLS. reached , play all this . Oh is been lonnnnng since i talk to some assholes and yeah finally today had a catch up :) haha. im kinda lazy to type la YOG sucks and nobody come and IS FINALLY FCUKING OVER :D:D:D ! then headed to compass eat all this , saw jizong that ass and after that loiter around compass alone then headed home , im damnnnnn tired that i didnt even bother to change i jus lie on my bed and sleep then quite awhile i found myself sticky so went wash face and changed on fan and sleeeeeep till 5plus when im meeting huiyee they all at 6 !! so faster rush this and that went kfc meet huiyee , priscilla , mansi and freda. ate and headed to sbc , watched the match of QIAN XI vs KEMBANGGAN and HOMEUNITED vs KAI XUAN . arggggggh they homeunited should winnn one ! ): nvm is over haha. then headed to cp alone , walking aimlessly , went 7-eleven and walked home alone and here im posting thats it im very tired bye dudes . & I WANT CHANGE PHONE -.- okay ignore my rubbish . im just soooo _)(*&^^%$#@!~ though i know it stupid .

those days when we used to hang along is what now we could never be.
i dont know whats on my mind lately , im too tired to bother about anything anymore.
im really tired and how i wish i can escape this bloody earth and bloody world.
hanging on to things which can never be back , i wonder why am i so stupid .
in my heart i dont have other choice , all left my speechless.
once again is just all along one-sided and im never your everything while you're to me.

2009-04-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

ITS FRIDAY BABYYYYYY ! alright this week is a veryvery meess up week first i owe alot of ppl things , esp TEACHERS oh freak-.- 2 compos of Ms Dai , IC indi & group , Environment rep work , Geog , Maths AND 1MTH PLUS GOING 2MTH OF ENGLISH JOURNAL . okay eng i give up man -.- chinese im going to complete it and ic i shall complete by nxt week and for my committee stuff im going to finish tonight :) . And finally YOG comes to an end real soon , it sucks no doubt imagine you're one of the members yet you are always not really notified by the exact meeting and time ? alright for the previously i didnt attend is due to reasons obviously-.- then tell me does that me i can be left out ? laughs when it comes to last min you guys spams me with msg telling me bring this and that , print this and that still kana your criticism ?! but you shld have thought of notified me like hey remember when and when need pass up and when and when got rehearsal right ?! oh forget it just call me a uncapable and irresponsible leader i shall just accept it anw. cos I DONT OWE YOU A LIVING _l_ i would rather help out in my bball booth please class is so not my passion and im just so enough of those nick names , CROW ?! fuck off la what rights you've got man ? if you can call me crow thats makes no difference which shows i can call you duck right ? alright i shall do so soon , theres always a limit of playing you can call me petty is okay cos i dont really give a damn to you at all who are you to be bothered about ?! just a small lil ass or hair ! laughs-.- you think you're a man is a big fuck ? then let me tell you , so what if im a girl ? i must be afraid of you ? HAHAHAHA , oh please that so not me , consequences is NOTHING to me cos my family dont gives a damn too so yea we shall see lah hor. dont treat me as nth when i dont shout or scold when the limit is reach and it burst then thats what chinese mean by " dog and chicken jump the wall " dog and chicken shldnt be able to jump a wall but when the are forced to a limit they will so yea get it ? i think so. so nth much for today im tired ): and i dont owe you a living if you treat me that way then thats it dont blame me for treating you that way , is not as though i cant live w.o you lah please so sick of this for YEARS & joyce lim you meant alot to me okay no doubt ! sorry alright :] ! .

2009-04-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

this turns to

.
.
.
.
.
this

(close up)

and

what a cool lil finger i have now laughs. alright i guess my hand now is more alien than yeo huiyee's one haahahah. didnt attend school today cos is kinda hurts and ya so forget abt school cant even tak pen to write go school for ?! right ? haha so i am hibernating all this while and didnt even bother to on my comp as i've my phone to accompany me and jus eat , sms , sleep and continuously for the whole day haha. till now 9pm going 10 and im most likely not attending school again tmr :) alright see how first haha . okay i jus changed my mind , im attending school tmr due to YOG things i dont want some idiot to kpkb again . so yeah , went to the doctor ytd and they say it may takes a week to recover or a few days depends & wtf i cant play ball for 1week ! whatever im still gona play with my right hand maybe is a sign telling me to train my other hand cos im one who is left hander and dont use right hand hahahaha unlike that vivian chua left hander like right hander and right hand better than left hand , pro ah ! haha. then got some painkiller and reduce the swallon-ess of the hand and luckily i reject injection ! cos the doctor tells me to have it which i was like " arggggggh no way ! " hahhaa . so yea nth much to post alr ? lol. bye all ! will post soon.

how would it feel when you're down and the one you love is not there for you ?and seems not to be bothered ? and thanks for that only one who is there for me & yes the others but just a few and im not pin-pointing anyone
but just thanking those who were there for me:)

2009-04-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

injured my lil finger . is very pain even now typing im using the first 4 finger of my left hand, is my hand , my feeling you guys just dont understand this pain and for the first time my fingers is hit by bball till this extend that then i make the finger slanted to a side i can feel the bones half top bone of the lil finger is slanted to the other side ..

this point of time , i've the urge to ring you up

& cry on you , speak to you , do you knows how much i need you ?

just your voice could already makes me feel settled ,

but when i wanted to press your number , something stopped me ,

theres a voice sayings out and telling me its no longer the past ,

the past is over..O-V-E-R .

fear...what to do ? im very scared ..

im lost ... all i need is you but where are you ?

i should have known ealier ..

despite all my tryings... its just useless.

who can i find ? who?

now i know whats friendship ... im all alone .

2009-04-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

(best : clement's and zhenhong's )

( me and kailin's , nice horhor ! xD)(retard marcus lim's & marc's )

dont be fooled by their garnish , the noodles taste AWFULLY SWEET x)

this is better cos is done by marc while the other by marcus the retard xD (vivian's and sheries )

well had our practical test and begining when taking those ingredients im nervous like shit and i got minus mark due to my intake of salt jus cos i forget take spoon and took too much salt as i pour it into the plate-.- zzz. nvm ! anw overall i find it last yr im more stable , maybe this time my preparations not enough ba cos i the night before then remember and its kinda too late to prepare and buy those garnish , sorry kailin ! hope i can score A1 for it as i really hope to , i want maintain last year's standard . Cooking is something i loves alot and how great would it be to be a chef ? cooking dishes for others , seeing them eating it with praises and esp cooking for someone you love ! hahaha , i wants to go shatecccc ! but im worry that i might not be pro enough to be a chef ): ! we shall see hows the future goes haah ! alright back to topic , and yeah our marks is kinda okok la i see already haha. then recess ,CL is shit la i hate the ms dai man , compocompocompo everytime also do compo from 1page plus till 2page half , fuck and now i still left with her compo ! see im so good , flooded with homework still come post hahaha ! alright followed by maths lesson was fine but i still slept for awhile , jus cant stay focus , dontknwwhyyyy ): then langarts , was happily using the phone since mr lai dont give a damn and yeah , lesson end and everyone chiong out of class cos ms dai say she 1.30pm will come find us to finish compo , stayed in toilet quite awhile and then when we ask them " ms dai go already ?" they say " she say bring home do " _l_ asshole teacher . went home , slept all this stuff and called the person to make my contact lense , thought need go down but the person says with the information of my degree can already , so jus stayeddd at home and sleep all i want lo. around 6plus woke up , watch tv and help out mum in kitchen , alright mum promise to let me cook whatever i wants during weekeneds :)))))))) ! then ate and around 8plus went downstairs to get joyce sweetheart's book review , headed to NTUC with her , shop around and buy things that mummy needs. off after awhile and here im posting while doing sweetheart's homework and my 2compo & maths homework awaiting me , gtg all ! bye !

Those few phrases , not more and not lessis that all we could have ? i shld have knwn earlier ,
despite my tryings is still just one-sided. .

2009-04-13T04:30:00.000-07:00

actually intended to post ytd night as i promised , but sorry was making my new phone's settings till kinda late and so i decided to post today . so yeah i got a new phone KU990R :) happyhappy !
and i didnt really realised till today i actually got the same phone as babbbbyyyy ! aww :] hahah! couplecouple x) . okay nth much ytd , went over to auntie's house and shop around taopayoh , bought some shorts and get my phone then dinner with my aunties . Suddenly my father's side auntie called up my mum and told her to fetch my ahma , so ate finished and my cousin drove us till potong pasir mrt and mum and me went separate ways as she went to chinatown while i came home :). Slept kinda late and woke up at around 7plus today . School was usual and my geog st was like piece of shit cos i didnt studied at all -.- if i passed it would be MIRACLES. followed by CL showing videos and maths then off to meet the rest for going match , hahahahaha ! happyhappy , the match referee is my idol ! woohoos ! okay abit crazy i know-.- abnormal me haha. then of cos the girls win right cos they got good referee xDD ! deyi is some kind of chicken feet to them anyway and you girls done great alrights lovesloves !:] haha. back to school im so fucking hungry and my gastric acts up again luckily i ate a plate of chicken rice which i felt sooooo tasty jus like a food from heaven haha ! then had light training , i didnt do much anw , oh im so used to it alr , yeah no more rants from me anymore :) . watch the christ-church videos and off i went with joyce :) . actually wanted to go cc to meet the sotong as she was saying my idol is there LOL. haha , but im kinda tired cos slept at 4am ytd ! now im home happily eating and sms-ing away , gotta start my homework soon ! :D till here , dudes !

The only love that i ever wanted so much and meant so much ,
it will not stop till the very end , loving you whole-heartedly.

2009-04-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

it wasnt what i wanted .
i kept myself occupied in the kitchen to cook my dinner ,
however this time round my egg is burnt till the 2nd time then i succeed.
fried egg with onion and fried beehoon shld be nice enough for me to eat ..
but i jus couldnt eat it .. i felt so moodless ..
i was now thinking abt if one day i went back to malaysia ,
disappear from s'pore will anyone miss me ?
bother about me ?
miss my noisy voice ?
my attitudes ?
my rants ?
i hadnt been a great friend , im sorry my friends .
neither had i been a good lover , im always contracdicting ,
im always fickle minded ..
and now im real tired can anyone jus tell me how to go on ?
im stuck . im not good in everything ,
studies too. why is this all happening ?
all this came across to me when i was alone at home
and alll these came popping out,
someone said , " you had alot of friends but is your attitude that drives them away "
tell me how can i change ? im tired.
i want be a good friend ,
good lover , good student
but aint ppl saying , live with imperfections ?
is jus so messed up , i dont want all those to happens ,
isit a curse that we are meant not to talk till 1week ?
in 1week we can only talk a few days of happiness and ended up with disagreement ,
is like a continuos happening .. why is this so ?
i think is time for me to accept the fact that we will never be ,
never..N-E-V-E-R .
it doesnt have to wait long now i felt that we no longer can be back to past ...
i dont know im in mess i jus wants to cry all out , im hungry but i couldnt eat anything down.
im tired but i cant get to sleep ...
i want everything thats lost to be back , why will i lost those ?
is so important to me ..
im jus typing on out how i felt , i feel so tired .
am i thinking too much ? but all these jus pop into my head naturally ..
why am i always crying , where is the me that used to laughs alot ?
i dont know .. i myself dont even knw whoelse knows ?
i couldnt be that strong girl that i was once , that you guys thought to be ..
all i know is to cry and cry and cry ..
im dumb , im foolish , im jus a idiot
IN
EVERYTHING.
& yes life still got to go on ...whatsmore i can do ?
theres one question i would like to ask all my friend ,
WHAT AM I TO YOU GUYS ? GREAT OR SUCKERS ?
i need some feedbacks to know whats wrong , whats wrong with myself , my character .
im slow , im dumb , im idiot , im always being commented , im attitude ,
such and such ... say it out now to me pls , i need a change .
i dont wants to lead my life on aimlessly ):

2009-04-09T02:44:00.000-07:00

the rain jus like my moood D: feeling supersupersuper moodyyy now . school was usual and i didnt came to notice tmr is good friday till jus now while talking to joyce. great finally i got a rest . dont knw why , i felt so lethargic . after school waited for misss joyce lim for quite awhile as she was talking to mrs lim about some YOG stuffs. after she came down , ate and went off to bishan for my phone to service . A total disappointment .. i couldnt take my phone to service anymore cos it had water inside and what worst , if i wants to repair it cost me a bomb like 65 for MINIMUM ?! still remember when i first got the phone i felt so elated and i swear to take care of it ...now ?! laughs , i shld have died cos i broken the swear and before ic trip my phone was alr spoiled but at that time joyce wanted to take her phone to service too yet we are kinda busy and so we decided to cancel it and wait for ic trip back then go. now ... i felt so regretted that i didnt take it to repair i shld have went alone , im always so lousy in making decision be it in studies , friendship , relationship all of these . im always so fickle minded and always i couldnt make up my decision when can i really change this habit of mine , it had taught me several lesson in relationship , friendship and studies , all i got the consequences for not being able to make up decision and landed in a state that i've nv wanted , overall i jus feel like saying CHAI PEI EN YOU SUCKS TO THE CORE , JUS A DUMB . .. jus now i went over to my house nearest shop to ask for the amount of money i got to pay for repairing my usb connecter of the phone they said $45 ... looking at my phone , whole lot of scratches and ytd it jus dropped to the floor and "danced" for awhile and now it left me speechless .. on th way home from bishan , looking at the windows drips of water slide from the top to the bottom , its jus like my tears rolls down from my eyes , i felt heartpain & gradually i feel so moodless . i hate myself , i hate to be landed in tday . i sucks & im lousy freak. i just want to cry it out loud & i need a pair of ear and shoulder please D: but there isnt ... & now i've reached home for quite long yet im still stuck at telling my mum about this matter. forget it i guess i just have to settle this on my own , i created it ..till here i guess im jus too low to continue )':

lastly , I SUCKS TO THE CORE

& I HATE MYSELF .

im always sucha let down. . .

2009-04-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

Time check : 11.16pm .

is kinda late right ? haha , i decided to post as i was feeling much better be it mood or my stomachache. anw had my 2.4km run today, ok i did get an A positon 56 but im not happy and satisfied , if not that stomachache i had for the last round of the schl i guess i would have get better . nvm is already set like some tomato says , i had already get my A :) ! and once i reach the place i was feeling damnn awful so i lie down and rest lo. then bryan, rayen they all came , then the red-cross ppl come , damn funny , awhile say appendits , awhile say cramp , awhile say gastric then got what stitches or what one , so the person went to get glucos drinks for me then i rest for awhile and drink the water jiu sit down there all th way to cool down lol and i guess is because i didnt ate much before the run i only eat cup-corn LOL ! so went up to hall , restrest awhile in canteen then go training , nth much coach was training shuqing's shooting and after that coach had to went off earlier for some matches i guess so ended kinda early , on th way home , i decided to go for my durian pancakkkkkke ! HAHAHAH :D THUMBS UP !! i've been complaining that i wants to eat since the day before and now i finally got it hahahaha ! idiotic mememe :) ! walked home in a veryveryveryveryyy slow pace , luckily theres someone to sms with orelse i would have bored to deathe ! reached home ate , bathe , chattttt all th way and went to sleep for awhile and chat on msn again till now . im veryvery tireeeed haha shall get my rest once after this post . ohyah before going off must bring some fcuking idiot into my blog . hey did i offended you ? must you be so kpoh ? laughs i knw you will see this post la , so what big fuck if you are a guy ?! if not ms teo stopped me i wld have slapped you but think back i shldn't downgrage myself to even bother about you this kind of bastard right ? haha im so glad to see your msn writing the girl you like dont like you cos you are nothing much but jus a " XI WEN BAI LEI " translated in hanyu pin yin , for eng i shall say you are a jerk ! EVEN A SHIT WORTH WHOLE LOT MORE THAN YOU . im not even scared you will read this post , once you read it bring it on whatever you want la , boy so what ? you're jus like a piece of shit in front of me . every clouds has its silver lining , so am i la hor. shall not waste too much blog space on you . provoke me all you want and bring it on , im so ready to tolerate whatever shit you had . i cant even be bothered by you la after i heard and think through what ms teo says and lastly , JUST FUCK OFFF , WHAT ARE YOU MAN -.- ( dont ask me who im saying , the person know himself best & you fucker once you see this post if you spam i will ban im ready for all your spammings )

alright im off guys :] , loves !

2009-04-07T05:13:00.000-07:00

grats girls for winning against christchurch , you guys done great :) !

the match was soooo excited & the scores kept dragging till same and christchurch starts to buckup slowly at 3 and 4th quater ! jus when we thought we will lost , shuqing shoot a 3point and last min of a layup followed by a dragging time of swing ball , we won ! :D bt is kinda unfair ,

theres alot of fouls that the refree didnt point out however they still won! nvr fail to disappoint us ! rock on ! well done for yuzhen and she was foul out at the 4th quater but the fouls is not cheap foul ok , haha our super centreeee woos ! :] . alright then we bused back schl and homed with joyceeee . haha. ohyeah school was practically the same ? jus that im supersuper awake today as i got someone to sms with hahaah. the most funny lesson is ms dai's lesson-.- the HOD came and we make out a fool of her laughs & she sounds so idiotic when saying out our class mistake LOL. hahah. ok i guess nth much alr , im off to bathe and do my homework soon !

as time goes on comparing abt the past and now ,other than that exactly one thing , i found out that things really changed alot.those who were once to be so close yet turns to be so cold now , not jus one but a few.i miss the past ]: !

hold me tight and nv let me fall ,

im falling off from your hands soon , i hold back my tears ,

i tried to feel that lil sense of happy but gradually ,

those sadness and disappointment cover all of those up .

i'll never wants to love another but you'll never wants to love me ,

i'll nv be the only one for you no matter how much i tried .

all i could do is jus stand beside you all along till the day you notice me ,

i'll wait & wait . for you & jus you, not the typical one

yet the one that mean so much to me.

2009-04-05T22:57:00.000-07:00

(bday girl ! )

im sicksicksick ): !

woke up at 7plus in the morning with a damn heavy head as though its gna brk like that. however i still pull myself up and washed my face ate and all this. halfway , preparing to get out of house i vomited and yah lo nv go school le. and th things i vomit is nth but jus water which tasted very awful . went back to sleep till now 1plus , my head is still aching & im sms-ing with some tomato-.- ! i've got lots of things undone like , the YOG board i bought alr but nv go schl cant give them and the video cam i need to use for tmr's the girls match with christchurch , i haven talk to ah tang abt it yet ... my homwork for that ms dai & my maths homwork for mr nazied . arggggggggh , so many things ):

my phone got to take for service alr ! my gum is aching for the 3rd week ! my contact lense need to changeeeee ... wthell la so many things , i cant breathe already , but i guess i aint the only one suffering . my poor teamates still got to play a hard match tmr ! but i know they can do it , i've faith for them alrights , love you guys ! & later on i need to go make my phone and contact lenseeee.but now my headache is very pain but if i dont do them today i dont think im free already . 24hs is so not enough for me , or isit i dontknow how to manage my time ? i think so lol. this my biggest problem haha. okay la , i need to eat and went off alr , bye all :] !

missmissmisssssss x ):

you're the reasons that motivates me and i pull myself up ,

jus a look of you im satisfied .

2009-04-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

(i look like im wearing a shawl though its vest haha)
(half-body :D)

Happy 14th birthday dearest & beloved JoyceLimPeiLing sweethearts <3

1yr older alr , may you have all your wishes granted

& lead a better life ahead ! all the best to you ok :)

remember im always here for you yea & you meant great place in my heart .

iloveyou my dear sweetheart , may happiness and laughters with you ok .

HAPPY ALWAYS , LOVES :) !

eventually the whole 6six of us had a outing for this birthday girl ,

but the 5 of us met up first and headed to choose cakes all this .

headed to cineleisure and its pouring like nobody buissiness and we are all stuck.

the poor birthday girl came over to fetch us and yea we headed to cine then .

but still we got stuck at the california fitness there so we decided to run to cineleisure as it is jus a road away , but the stupid me holding on to the umbrella yet didnt make it as a shelter to run , instead i was drenched-.- ok whatever . im dumb i know. so we went in for the room and ya kbox marathon sinnnnnng nonstop , cut the cake all this and damn vivian make my back with creams and its super oily !haha. but its fun LOL. then we continue to sing till 6plus

& it costs as 127$ plus ok , no joke ! paid and left , headed back to sk for dinner , actually wanted to headed to skcc for awhile yet halfway saw junming , zheyang , dickson , huiyee and prisc.

chatted for awhile and headed to shuqing house , halfway i decided to left first cos i want go home early bcos .. haha jus some reasons but anw came home early is only a waste . forget it.

and ya here im posting , theres only 2photos in my phoen now and i will get it from facebook & once i editted it i'll post it up . stay tune ! its jus a short posting abt today overall its a crazyday , memoriable day , high day and yes im HAPPY TODAY :] ! the happiness of today is not what can be type out through hand and created through fonts in the comp . haha. im learning to feel satisfied , nth is always perfect :).

i may not be the one in th past who can cheer you up anymore ,

but all i can say is when ever you had a fall i will be there to hold you from falling ,

even if you had already fell , i will be the one cleaning the wounds for you .

im jus always beside you no matter what :)

2009-04-04T04:43:00.000-07:00

this post will be a longglongglongg one.
firstly my dearest and most beloved joyce sweetheart birthday is jus round the corner !
2nd i jus had a very big fight with my mum after a few mths ,
and things turns out real worse ):
3rd im jus super not in mood , dont knw why , i shldnt be like that right ?!
4th recently life is so tired it seems like im really deprive of sleep &
things jus not on th track , i've alotalot of things undone countless..
midyears are coming yet i've left podcast , YOG thing all undone ..
5th i felt so no life nowadays my life jus simply revolve around school & home ,
not even skcc or 260 anymore ! and i miss tons of ppl who are not in our school ,
time to meet ups right ?! esp my dearest wenjun babyyy and my lingling haha !
6th i miss mee toh , when can i fork out the time to go back to see
my most respected miss fong ,principal , most crazy form tcher, mdm ng of our 6-2/07 ,
my class room , my old classmates and those laughters we really need a meet up !
& yes i jus miss my primary school life !
7th im learning to be satisfied but it just seems like theres something lacking ,
can anyone tell me how to learn to be satisfied ? i know its dumb -.-
8th is there any kind souls can appear in my life now to brighten it up abit ?
it seems so dulldulldulllllll thats not what i want !
9th how can i buck up my studies ?! i want go 3h and thats my aim ,
now what i left is jus my english cos my rest other subs is improving alr ,
anyone free to teach eng ? LOL.
10th i need someone now ): i've alotalot of unspoken wordsssss !
....................

okay thats all i guess actually i still got more ,
today we went to PROJECT LOVE CAN , is ok overall and im jus very disgusted
by some idiot uncles who nv wear shirt and jus a super short shorts to come and take the flyer
from me-.- whatever you call it boys or you call it man ,
whatever it is , nowadays males are getting more and more like shit !
then headed back to schl for SL , get scoldings again , guess we really gotta buck up ,
all along 2h has been looked down on others hopefully we can do well for YOG :D !
headed to compass for sheryl lim's belated birthday celebration ,
wanted to have pizza but went to LJS instead , ate and surprise for her !
camwhoreees ! photos are all with joyce :) .
then went to bishan with joyce and cheryl for her phone to service
and thats when i blow my top up on my mum , forget it shallnt bother anymore.
whatever she want to do jus go ahead,
she want to divorce , go ahead once after another time saying this ,
yet they didnt do , anw now we also dont even have a house and i dont felt like im in a family ,
so ya jus go ahead with what both of you want do la , i've been very moody
and things is bothering me stop giving me problems and since im 14 ,
so im ok to work alr and ya i will earn my money later on , jus give me mth fee ok alr.
i wont die with you guys anw hanging on , quarreling having no peace at home
is what im very sick of alr so i wld rather both of you separate and go your own ways ,
lead you life , i will not be a burden to you since im old enough to work alr , go ahead la.
whatever bullshit things you want sign or clarify go find a lawyer
and jus tell me who i will live it thats it im so not going to care anymore im so sick-.-
since p5 the family is broken and now is shattered from pieces to pieces ,
it will nv be back anymore i knw and i understand .
... ok continue so we went shop around all this and
OMG I SAW VIAO RED ! 1799 INCLUDING GST !
but seeing in my stage of family now i know i will nv get it .. hais.
then we bus-ed home , joyce headed to find her primary schl friends ,
cheryl went home and i went for my pimple cream at watson ,
cost me 13.40dollars ! nvm as long as it heals my pimple im willing to pay if i can afford :) .
then went over to action city meet huiyee , freda and shuqing awhile ,
then headed home and here im posting , my comp is getting more and more lagggy .

& tmr we are going to town for my dearest birthday and knw what ?!
KBOX ! OMG IM SO FCUKING IN LOVE HAHAHAAHAH.
ok i shall enjoy till the top tmr since its been long since i really have a proper outing
and proper formal wearing hahahaha ! my heels can stop rot in the cupboard alr
same goes to my shirts and short all these hahahaa.
& i think i need more outings LOL !
okay and thats all i think , bye peoplesss !
4hs plus more to my beloved joyce birthday hahaha :] !

2009-04-03T08:01:00.001-07:00

usual day with usual school routine and trainings :) .
school was fine and thanks lots to my gf for helping me to copy notes for eng <3 .
art sucks-.- , chinese suddenly say got spelling i was like wthell but nvm its not tough for me.
followed by last , sci nth to do one , mdm jamaliah didnt come hahahaha.
then stayed in school went comp lab with joyce and the rest for their projects,
at around 2plus we headed to training , today training is about fake , layup all this ,
and i super loves it man hahah!
training is jus fine but i jus dislike the weather man ,
finished at around 6plus and i head off to cc , haha im so in th mood to play bball yet ..
wthell , only play one match zz.
shldnt have go -.- then , went ate ,
slack awhile , bathed and homed.
wtf , my pimples are popping out i need help !
& my eyes got a redred thing at the side is very pain and swollen ,
my gum is hurting me for 1whole week going 2 weeks ,
wthell is going on man , sucks !
I NEED HELP ): !

& you yes you fucker ,
you're pro so what sia ? you like to put salt on others wound ah ?
even when you see im angry . fcuk off la , i've been tolerating you la hor ,
luckily now nv see you so often orelse i wil puke man.
when i say we thrash woodgrove all this and that you shoot me back with this
" is we meh not they meh " whats this ?
IS A FACT , i know ,
you dont know how i felt jus stfu can ?
the feeling of disappointment ,
the feeling of seeing your teamate working so hard yet you are sitting there doing nth ,
the feeling of being left out , such and such ,
you dont know la jus shut your big fat mouth up can ?
know you limit and be a gentleman lah hor .
you count yourself as a man ? i see you as a JERKS _l_ .

2009-04-02T04:13:00.001-07:00

i dont know how to start this post ..
grats the the girls , you guys won against yishun sec.
schl was usual but abit more entertaining as i got a stupid to sms to.
released at 12.30pm to accompany girls to sbc ,
and grats to boys too :)
... i got no more to post , my post recently is rather short ,
as im really not in mood , things is not going smooth for me ,
i hate it.
being in th team , i couldnt experience , share , feel what they are now ,
during the games i can only be sitting outside shouting and cheering ,
other than that i couldnt do much , seeing them run up and down ,
so tired for the team , yet im sitting down there ..
i felt so useless ... now i felt , im not qualified to be in this team,
even if they win , i shld not be counted inside ..
my number 12 shld be a very nice number that plays in th court ,
yet in the sbc paper , number 12 is being strike out ,
this feeling really sucks. its suppose to be a very nice number for a very nice player ,
yet i wasted it .. i dont fit to be , neither shld i be in th team .
i jus couldnt stand this feeling any longer , i dont know who to speak to..
and i guess even if i speak to anyone theres no much console becos ,
is a FACT .
i jus can cry this all out alone to myself and put all this emotions and thinking to myself.
WHY ME ? WHY ISIT ME ?
NO DOUBT , IT SUCKS TO THE CORE , FCUK.
its just been troubling alotalot of times .. i guess i wont be going with the girls for the match anymore ... jus all the best to them :)

2009-04-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

actually i didnt wanted to post ,
but now i jus want freaking rant something _)(*&^%$#@!
I HATE MY COMP ESP MY NETWORK ,
IT FUCKING DC-ED ME AT THE WRONG TIMING
AND I MISSED SOMETHING AND DUE TO DC-ED
I CANT VIEW WHAT THE PREVIOUS MSG IS.
IS LIKE WTF CAN ?!
perhaps , its jus fate.
everything left me jus soo speachless.
one after another tornament reaching,
going to training im like so free and nothing to do there ..
they are all suffering after the tornament yet being in th team i cldnt share,
what they are experiencing now , poor thing for them ..
& i really getting more and more couldnt stand the feeling anymore ,
just seems so extra .
& you readers must be sick of my old and same rants right ?
it jus couldnt erase away from my mind , no doubt ,
this feelings sucks to the core.

im off to sleep now , i hate F-A-T-E ,
and i hate my comp if i got money ,
i will throw this fcuking comp straight into the bin ,
useless network _l_.

2009-03-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

I .WANT. TO. SLEEP. FOREVER ! .
I.M.MOODLESS.
I.M.TIRED.
I.M.VERY.CONFUSED.MESSED.UP.FRUSTRATED.
& I.HATE.THIS.ON-GOING.LIFE.OF.MINE!

im jus super fcuked up with my life
and i hate my life ,
i hate to be who i am , i hate to be facing whatever im facing now ,
& lastly , i felt that im not qualified to be a no. 12 .
i dont know why till now its still pondering in my mind ,
i know this is a fact thats not gna change , but why me ?!
why me !!! why cant i born later on ! why cant i be 14th instead 15th this yr !
why does it comes to me ?! ):):): ...
why me ! why all these choose me ? this , those , that ...
why isit me ? all this bullshit !
im jus sosososo ... messed up ..
thats life i know , and i jus got to move on ,
but its hard , its hurting and im getting tired .
i need a shoulder , that is big and broad for me to lean on ,
im too tired to continue this path anymore ...

2009-03-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

mondaaaaaay blueees !
okay today im kind of high and low , dont know hw to say ,
but i can say is i pay alot of attention on maths :)
hahah ! & i hate mrs lee sing yee !
she is sooo gross with her facial expression ! pui !
& class is like the same , as chaotic as ever so we dragged her lesson for 15plus mins laughs !
hahahaah , shld have dragged even longer isnt it !
had our ST today , is like so easy when im so parnoid over it ,
cos i couldnt afford to fail anymore ! i want get good grades for midyear
but sad im one who dont do homework only studies for exams haha!

released at 2pm and mr lai is fcuking stupid to be fool by me and girlf ,
over filling & feeling-.- damn idiotic !
ate and went for training ,
tornament is on tmr , and today when i see them train sets ,
sitting with carmen i think she knows how i felt ,
how i wish i can play tmr , how i wish i could help georgina & christabel ,
how i wish i could perform , how i wish i can thrash woodgroves ..

jus HOW MUCH I WISH i can do something for the team.. and yes is only wish ,
all the best girls , i'll be there supporting you guys ,
kailing rmb we said ok , thrash woodgrove gogogog !
jiayou kangbai !
after training headed to cc jus awhile ,
off to eat and homed around 9 , here im posting !
haha , tmr though i couldnt play but i can wear my NUMBER 12 !
OHYEAH !HAHAHAHAH :D:D:D

no matter how much i've done , how much i felt for you ,
till the very end i got nothing ,
i guess theres no need for you to wait till that day ,
now to you , you clearly knows your ans i guess ,
i'll jus nv be the one . . . i wonder whats that pulling me back ..
how long will i really need to really put this whole bullshit down ...):
is jus too late to say anything anymore.. life jus got to go on and on ,
and thats life , with ups and downs , unforgettable memories ,
once bitten twice shy , i wil turn wiser for the next .

& polar bear ! cheer dont be upset haha ,
learn from memememe !
ohyah , is been long since i talk to a crab !
crab if you see this must talk to me soonsoon , time to update alr haha !
see im sucha good friend to both you right haha great me LOLS !

2009-03-28T22:01:00.001-07:00

i slept quite early ytd jus around 1plus ,
and i think im really too tired to think anything anymore ,
once i got on my bed i fall asleep already although i was actually sms with someone.
and i manage to woke up at 9 today ,
nothing to do , due to the overwhelming of boredness ,
i went to watch channel 8 all those kids show laughs.
and now is alr 1plus that yeohuiyee is awake alr ,
time for lunch ! HAHAHA .
im still feeeling veryvery down , maybe time to get some idiot to make me lighten up ,
who shall be the one ? haha . any kind soulsss ? LOL.
okay i shall blog later on anw i guess i will be stuck at home today ,
while mum is away from SG.

i wonder why must we come to this stage ,
thinking back those words you said , i dont see anything meant anymore ,
whats hurts th most is you mention abt something i felt so ridiculous ,
is too ridiculous to believe ,
in the first place, what do you treat me as ? ... toy ? i guess so .
comparing the past on how you treat me , and now what you've said ,
i felt so ... i dontknow im speeechless for it anymore ...
you no longer is the one i know , i dont exactly knws what you're thinking now ,
what you wants know ..
everything had changed .

2009-03-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

i've been thinking what to post ,
and i came with no conclusion so i decide to type what i feel like to
and what i wants to , jus randomly.
times past damnnnnnnnn friggin slow today , thats first thing.
and 2nd , im flooooooded with work esp school work and monday ST -.-
i dontdontdont want to fail anymore i want get rid this word from my maths ,
yrs of school lifes my maths really sucks i can say now i suddenly feel like bucking up my maths.
3rd , 24hrs is just not enough for me , i need to train , play bball , homework and such and such..
4th , i feel like going down now to do my 10rounds running which im suppose to be doing ,
sequencely in weeks.
............and yah alot more , my mind now like the biggg drain ,
thoughts seems to gush in like water ,
fast and strong .
and ytd and today i've been running home from compass ,
today bcos i went to get my contact lense solution ,
is kinda incovenient fr me to run , but eventually i did , yet lesser ,
so i punish myself by climbing stairs to house and dear readers ,
my block got 16 storeys i lived in 15th storeys -.-
i almost faint and i sweat like the water tap is open when i reach home ,
and my auntie asked me why lols-.-
and after bathing all this im here posting .
nothing much today jus a boring day .

im stuck in you , i felt so messed up ,
i dont know what is up nxt and what to do next ,
i know the person living in your heart ,
who you will miss, care , love and jus give yourself in ,
will never be me , though you are the one for me .
i will not regret that i fall for you ,
but think back i will regret why didnt i hold you tight enough ,
& why didnt i got you to be mine , the one i love the most ,
which makes me in dilema now..
i felt so moody and jus :( .

2009-03-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

IM JUST NOT IN THE MOOD TO POST ): !
...
i thought i could go that extra miles jus for you
but it seems like i couldnt hold it any longer ...
is hard to go back to the past , it jus seems impossible.
i felt the stone hanging on to my heart ,
its getting heavier and heavier ..
millions of words couldnt explain how i felt now ..
i've millions of question marks growing in my heart ,
sigh...

2009-03-25T06:58:00.000-07:00

I GOT MY JERSEEEEEY !
alright , i got it and is kinda big but well who cares ?!
as long as is number 12 im fine with it man ! haha.
the cutting is said to be small , yet now they bomb us with big ones -.-
anw training was focusing on boys today ,
so we girls some were shooting , some layup.
everyone seems to be indulging in sets for tornament ,
hoping it to success and win points for tornament ,
everything is tornament , jus nth
but a tornament that i wont be playing , i felt extra..

ok whatever , im jus ranting , i will be fine days later on i guess :)
anw theres nothing much i can do , i shld be glad coach said im still in th team
& im allow to have the jersey ..
argh whatever . lesson is giving me a hard time !
new sitting arrangement , freaking hell i sit front row !
okay la sitting with marcus tay aint that bad except he abit horny and NOISY !
nvm haha at least i can sleep , but today i keep tell myself
" cannot sleep you cannot sleep" so i didnt .
and i had a hard time i sumpa man ! so i lie flat on table during eng
COS I REALLY CANT TAHAN ALR !
anw this tcher .. forget la he CMI one lor-.-
other than that lesson is ok :)
after training i went to buy my subway EAT FRESH !
hahaha ! im so addicted to their double choco and white chip cookie !
haah bus-ed home with joyceeeee haha !
and here im posting , im happy my dear readers :)
okay i know im random and cheer my dearest girlf !
bye dudeeees !

2009-03-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

school and lesson is boreeeeed i can say ,

but due to what mr nazied said about the paper ytd ,

i chose ytd to be the last day i sleep and so , today i concentrate alot ok !

still at there challenge see i do faster or edwin LOL !

chinese lesson is totally -.- thanks to that Ms Dai ,

she let me sleeeep and left less that 30min for me to do xi zi ,

and i chiong like siao -.- asshole !

homecon is totally failure , my cookie is burnt !

except for those big ones , those nicely decorated small and cute ones are burnt ,

but at least the not burnt one is delicious ok !

but i lazy bring home then only a few ate so i jus throw away lol !

first time homecon i make the thing fail LOL !-.-

then let me think ..

lesson is jus as boring as usual la , my heart is not in my lesson lol ,

heart flown away ! HAHAHA :)

thenthenthen , after school headed to queensway with kailing haha ,

cab there and bused back , my trip is fruitful !

i saw a addidas shoe there previously is $90 but the uncle discount till $84 !

great isnt it ?! hahaha !

fruitful trip and i got my nike water bottle i like it damn freaking lotttt la !

bused back and have nice chat with her , laughs is been long since i voice out the past !

homed and i sleeeept all the way till 8plus ,

okay nxt time im not going to sleep anymore haha ,

i shld sleep early right ? ok i try LOL .

training tmr , i cant wait getting my jersey !

and i cant wait for training , now im so looking forward in training ,

i wish to know all th sets , it would be perfect if i can play right ?

but i cant ... ok why am i stuck at this thing again ..

hais , this thing is really bothering meeeeeee alotalot .

& worst of all teacher have changed my seat to infront ,damn front , FIRST ROW !

for goodness sake somemore is very away from the other end of the class ,

sucha bad sitting arrangement and ms teo put a guy who is damnn noisy beside me

& shuhui who is shorter than me dont know howwww much behind me ( no offence)

this is very idiot of her ! I WANT PROTEST !( lol speellling wrong ? idontknow haha !)

but is impossible la but if i dont want sit there i think tcher cant do anything ah ?

ok im very boring now , off to do my chinese compo ,

bye dudes all !

2009-03-23T04:49:00.000-07:00

eventually i gave training a miss , but i chose to sit there and look.
my thigh and butt is still very pain -.-
and i think im going over to a chinese sinseh around hougang tmr ?
dont know lols. school life continues tday , slept at quite late ytd
and so as expected i overslept today , but luckily im not late :)
lessons is still so boring , esp during geog , sucks big !
i really dont know how am i going to survive for my rest of the school lifes ,
esp my mid-year examination ! it seems like my heart is not with studies nowwww !
ok whatever , so i stayed at bball court for 3whole hours ,
aint bored at all cos i was really listening to what coach is teaching
& when they play 5 vs 5 how i wish i can play please ... hais .
yah and so briefing and coach is kinda angry ,
released and walked to buy bubble tea with shuqing ,
actually wanted to walk home but my leg -.- so i trained home ,
heereee im posting :)

when coach talk about tornament experience ...
majority raise up their hand cos they were not experience ,
yet now , not long later they will be in SBC & playing the tornament ,
experiencing the feeling of war , th nervous , calmness ,
shoutings of coach , sounds that comes from the friction of shoes and so and so ...
me , being the one unexperienced yet ,
actually i can be experiencing not long later on too ,
however ... yea im still vry stuck up in these ,
why must i be a foreigner ,
why must i be one yr older ..
is just so FUCK and i hate it ,
i really wish to go down and play as a team ,
win together , work together ,
experience the feeling but ,
i couldnt ,
no one knows this feeling of mine , disappointment . . .
well , not really in good mood , im very vexed and frustrated today ,
but still i jus got to go on with my daily life , no matter what ..
im very tired , in any ways , i want to have longlonglong holidays ,
i want to sleeeeeep veryveryvery long ,
life is so happening .

2009-03-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

today is kinda hectic life for me i can say ,
ytd night didnt really sleep well , early morning mum woke me up ,
cos my grandma had heart attack and followed her on ambulance to AMK hospital ,
dont really know what hospital itis but i guess is her always go de hosp ?
lols and ambulance is damn cool ! HAHAH . idiot me.
accompany my mum to go to do those paperwork and registration ,
i sitted at the resting places of the hospital for hours
and i swear is damn boring , got alot of times i kept fall asleep !
& yea sorry kailing , actually wanted to meet you and buy shoe at queensway ,
however things turns out like that , real sorry !

& yea i waited for verrrry long ok i swear ,
and like around 4pm i finally took my uncle car
and back home , im damn tired i swear go i give going cc a miss
and help shuqing do her work on my comp instead.
& my house is over-crowding ok ! more than 20 ppl i think -.-
ate , i manage to escape and find some.. she got alot nickname la
emo freak , polar bear alotalot la , stupid ppl also can haha .
yea so went over mac to find that wong bao yi !
study with her you will die lor she so noisy ! haha tsktsk !
and someone is very angry , ok lar cheerup ok idiot :)
stop all your emo lar , so retarded can ?!
haha , be honoured i post you on my blog , but you dont read ppl's blog -.-
asshole ! haha & thnks for helping me do some of my maths ques !
after that , some sotong come with NOTHING in her hand ,
so yeah lor she bored to deathe there and keep laugh at me and baoyi ,
LOL ! no choice , being with some retarded ones , i got to be abit retarded to pei he her haha.
then sotong went home at around 9 ,
and both of us stayed , but homed not long after.
and someone is sosososos stupid and ya jus stupid ,
still say me ! " NI SHI BEN DE HAI SHI BEN DE ?! " ( saying bak to you now !)
haha then ok la abit KIND , she send me till the junction there and went separate ways alr.
SMS YOU STILL SAY ME NAGGY ! ASSHOLE !

ok til here , nothing much and aww ,
march hols is over , school life remains on tmr ):
serious is damn fcuking shag , im deprive OF SLEEEP PLS ):
what isit man ? you call it life ? fcuk !
bye dudes!

2009-03-21T03:32:00.000-07:00

im still stuck in the thing on tornament , but i cant do much too i guess...
is set and jus my luck right ? hais.
alright , afew more min fr me to post before i off to meet thay yeo hui yee at rp mac !
raining dayyyy is sooo moodddy ! dont know why or maybe my mind is on someone else.
and yeah today is kinda busy day , morning woke up kinda early
& went over to my aunt house , nothing much but using her comp
& played games on facebook.
then headed for SL meeting ,
& bought my lunch then home.
moody day best is to sleep right hahah !

& im still wondering if i shld go back to you ,
maybe im wrong to suspect you but
i really dont know which part is true or fake .
& yes im afraid i will make a deeper fall ,
cos i really couldnt take it anymore , my love for you is far too much than i expected to be.
even if there would be a second one but the love will not be as much as yours ,
& i'll never love another , you are the only.
& i guess thats what ppl says ,
the person you love most are the person who hurt you most,
i believe :).

2009-03-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

well ,by looking at my tagboard i guess you guys is guessing what happen yeah ?
people says the biggest hope you've got , the greater disappointment you will get ,
& yes i got it now , after so much scoldings , so much ups and downs,
trying hard and atttending training , coach put me in the team and yes i got 12 ,
a very meaningful number and i love it & yes i heaved a sigh of relieve when coach asked me
for my jersey sizes and number i want , the happiness is not what i could type it out now ,
the feelings of accomplishment after much hardwork .
& now jus when i thought things is over and im going to wear my favourite number jersey ,
to play down at SBC court and PLAY as a school team player ,
PLAY in GLORY and COMPLIMENT for the team and for the number im wearing now
& yes for myself , proving to coach im his right choice.
& YET . . .

things like to went wrong in th last minute ,
due to my age problem , i couldnt qualify ,
i dont blame anyone but myself ,
being a foreigner . . .
is just a step to my dream but it shattered
& yes all hardwork came down drain , even though i still got the jersey
& yes im glad coach said soemthing " no replacement "
as what coach said , im still in th team treat it as minor injuries ,
but this is too cruel for me , the reality . . .
tang said im the strong girl who always scold him but i would like to say
IM NOT . im really breaking down .
looking at my previous post , and now this post ,
it seems like my life jus seems to be going down slope ,

Im glad i've got sucha teamates who cared for me that much ,
console me & even came to my blog and tag,
thnks much loves . esp yuzhen and joyce .
thnks for consoling me when im crying , it helps alot .
& here i've some words for the second five ,
having training and playing friendly i always dont really scored and played well ,
today before tang said out about my matter , georgina you fell ,
i know you are trying hard to be a good dribbaler ,
you are great my dear girl , today theres alot of passing you passed good and
yes you didnt give up , get on ok ,
we aint the main five but i know you can do it , with your discipline
& yes you can play well .
Christabel , you do read my blog yea ?
i hope you came across this.
we seems to be good in muo qi uh ? haha today theres alot of passing ,
im sorry i missed kinda lots of ball , my dear sometimes you jus got to play hard
& have the determination to run ok ?
then you will cfm got alot of points ,do you know your lan ban actually percentage very high!
so yes , jiayou jus abit more of hardwork you can reach th top alr !
all this is what i can say , in a way of my thinking and obviously i aint up to where good ,
and when coach asked me today
" you think you play well ? " i answered "no "
and yes i've been really improving veryvery slow ...
yeah , so i couldnt play with you guys alr , but i know with
CHRISTABEL AND ANGLEA the centre ,
geogeo the controller & jeanie , w.o me you guys still can play well one right ,
cos i only can dribbal abit only and yah ,
GO ALL THE WAY MY DEAR GIRLS !
& chris !
i hope you can divert my muoqi with you to geogina ok !
i know you can de right , then angelea you got the size to eat ppl
so be daring and you can really play well , even better than me one ok !
you guys can de ok ! second five , JIAYOUS ! :D
haha of cos not leaving out my dear girls, first five!
esp my dearest joyce and rest ok .
KANGBAI C-girls jiayous ok ! and i will be the cheerleading .

im glad i've got sucha teamates
& a coach i always thought to be dislike-ing me ,
yet could actually spoken those words to console me .
i've nothing much to say but jus im sorry i couldnt help much for the team .
In conclusion , is a console to me i've got sucha caring team towards me ,
thanks guys , i love you all ok :)

2009-03-19T05:29:00.000-07:00

okay i've finally like upload a few pictures ,

and chai pei en now is veryvery tired , later on she still got to go over her sweetheart house

& pass her friedrich followed by taking shoebag .

& yes she wants rant something now !

which or whoever is the fcuker that took my shoe-bag ,

i cursecursecurse you , curse you got sleepless night ,

curse you eat what vomit what out curssssse !

and yes obviously i lost my shoe bag but im kinda sure is not at cc ?

but where ? i dont know , wtf ok .

inside got my shoe with abit of friction left ,

my socks -.- and MY NIKE SHOE BAG !

whatever , is happened can do anything but im very angry !

& 2nd , our jersey ran out of orange and black so yea wtf ?

we got to take red and white im super pissed off ,

i already could imagine number 12 compassvale written on the black and orange jersey ,

and how tough i got this jersey and i dearly it actually meant to me

yet in th end they give me a atomic bomb say no more orange and back ?

speechless . . . one word = SUAY !& then ,you yes you this i dont know what to call ,to be someone i love so deeply ok you maybe saying

" oh ya right deeply , then tell me why are you giving me up ?"by telling me those words before you off , are you threatening me ?yes what x said is true ,you wants to lead me on , you like this attraction ,you ENJOY it . but what about me ?!missing and thinking about you all day long ,being lonely in th night , all i want is you ,knowing i like you , yet you seems to beopeningconversation ,only wanting to know im giving up or not uh ?what the fcuk is this ?! i know you are attached you got your life but ,did you know how painful were to actually lovesomeone so deeply ,and that someone could actually know you love him* and yet ,treating you cold and hot like going along to their wish ,do you even know how it feels anot ?! YOU DONT KNOW !why ?! why the you now and the you in th past aint the same ?!i told myself what x and x said is fake , you aint that bad in th past ,i still told them confidently " cant be arh he* werent like that and he* alr said he* dont wish to hurt me " yet now ....i lost , im reallyreally lost in you , tell me WHAT EXACTLY YOU WANTS ?!WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU THINKING ?!WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU ?!WHATWHATWHAT ? ! WHY AND WHY !CAN YOU SPEAK OUT ?! YOU SEEMS SO HARD TO BE UNDERSTAND NOW ,YOU WERENT THE ONE ANYMORE . . . why must you makes me disappointed ,why must you put your enjoyment on my hurts ,those fake promise , fake hopes EVERYTHING IS FAKE ! YES IM BREAKING DOWN NOW , YES .. IM SO DEEPLY INDULGE IN THE FAKE YOU AND NOW , I COULDNT ACCEPT ME , HARDENED MY HEART ? YOU THINK IS EASY ? IT WASNT ... LET ME TELL YOU " SORRY I DONT WANT HURT ANYONE " DOESNT EVEN MEANT A SHIT COS YOU ARE HURTING ME ! NOW BY USING TH WAY TELLING ME TO GO TO ANOTHER ONE , WHAT X SAID IS YOU TRYING TO ACT GREAT , SO NOW I BELIEVE IN YOUR ACT AND YES IM GOING TO ANOTHER ONE , I WILL REMEMBER YOU , REMEMBER HOW YOU HURT ME , YOU ARE SUCHA PRO , SUCHA GREAT OSCAR ACTOR , I LOST , LOST IN YOUR GREAT ACTING AND INDULGING TOO MUCH ONYOUR LIES.

2009-03-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

IM HIGH

IM ELATED

IM WHATEVER HAPPY MOOD YOU THINK I CAN BE

IT ALL BECAUSE . . .

I GOT NUMBER 12 AND YES IM OFFICIALLY IN THE SCHOOL TEAM !:D

im veryveryvery happy i can say and overall im happy ,

but im feeling stress too , cos of my skill , i will give my best ok ?

the match is round the corner and yes now im trying hard to really focus

and prove it out . thnks for all the support from you guys ok :)

rock on ! & jus bought a shoe today it cost $111 !

haha, i think after tornament im not going where this shoes ,

in fact i want let my old one rot first hahah , ok i know i abit no brain haha.

then ... sorry to disappoint you guys with no photos ,

i will try to post up asap cos im really lazzzzyy to .

& i love my doraemon which mummy let me buy it jus ytd !

hahaah . & ok i wont be posting as like usual cos im kinda busy alr

and yes cheer up my dear joyce ! im always here for you though i may not be good enough

neither i may not be able to help you out but i will try my best alrights ?

trust me , you meant great to me , w.o you im nothing ok !

lovesloves:)

&i wonder whats love ?

the attraction of certain boy and girl tgt ?

or a game of sex for boy ?

i saw one guy in the mrt today , he look so PERVERT

when talking to his girlf , all he look is at her neck there then followed by continuously kissing it . then touching her around , even though is in mrt and though her girlf keep pushing her away ,

what is this ?! fcuktard ! cant they jus be more civilise ? or at least not do in MRT ?

want do , very good example , VOIDECK .

is this what people call to be a man ? i totally disagree ,

girls aint a sex toy for man i guess ? neither does anyone like to be push like a toy ,

so now , i wonder why the god ruled out that love only exist with a man and a woman ,

with different under parts and jus meant for each other ?

why not woman and woman ? or man and man ? hhaah ,

anyone can tell me who is the one create man ?i wonder who is the first man on earth

and which is the first couple that born baby out and which surname is the first appeared ones ?

hahaha is all soooo NO-ANSWER at all , did anyone wonder before ?

maybe we are jus a lotus-made-human like how the ancient story said

and we are all created by god , isnt it ? haha there is alot of MAYBE

but there aint alot of ANSWER and CONFIRMATION ,

scientist , GET DOWN TO WORK NOW ! HAHAHA !

( the above post is just pure curious out of daydreaming hahahahaha !)

2009-03-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

heyheyhey!
MISSS CHAI IS BACK FROM THE KL TRIP YEAYEAYEA !
did any souls out there miss her ? hopefully there is lar orelse she will be so sadded! hahah .
&she is so unluckily sick ! she also knocked her head against the front bed thing ,
its now swollen annnd hurting ! is foolish when she actually hurt it , jus to lie down on the bed !
okokok , iiiiiii im just being lame for the first few sentence and dont laugh for what i've jus mention though i know is freaking stupid hahah , i laughed too.
okay basically th trip is fun overall but scary & yes is very chi ji when playing catching games with tchers -.- laughs !
well , some scary things happen on th second night ,
when i went to joyce's room , sandra was in th room bathing ,
and she asked us to go first , so then from what she say , she heard weird noises .
okay nvm , then when ytd we went shopping and started to chat with ms teo ,
about she knows im in th room anot cos that day bernice kwan and her came ,
liying blurblur open th door bigbig , her blur-ness make us escape ok haha
plus joyce great act and we are actually hiding behind a wall that once they walked in ,
not a few steps they could caught us red-handed alr haha.
then ms teo and bernice kwan continued to walk down and that time ,
sandra , vivian and me alr left our room , surprisingly
ms teo was still suspicious but when she walked till our room ,
she heard NOISES , WHEN THERES NO ONE IN TH ROOM !
and theres 3 key for a room , our tcher took 2 we took 1 ,
so yeah ... wtf -.- luckily is last day , pheww.. but im still very scared that thing followed us
back to sg , i hope not yea ? and pray hard for meeeee ):
and no wonder i couldnt sleep and felt weird the last night...-.-
ok so yea , th food there is nice , but the first day lunch is SHIT TOTALLY SHIT !
worst of all is at malacca , wtf embarrass my hometown ! _l_
other than that is food and th hotel brkfast is great !:D
then , dinner i ate alot and they say im auntie cos each station take one ,
luckily sherie also ! hahaah , but for me is like , hello ? is only 2days here ,
is either you eat your fill and enjoy your this 2days or you dont eat and make it nothing amazing , right ?! so yeah hahah . is nicenice ok plus the desserts all this lar ,
however compared tgt i prefer the dinner 2nd day than th 3rd day lunch ,
cos when i walk off and haven eat finish th waiter go take away the food alr -.-
thenthen , i love bus ride lar , behind the 5 seats is ours !
we all make the thing till very low and you from behind see you can see is like a bed ok !
and for once and all , we are very united ok ,
me , sandra , vivian , yeewei and siewyi haha ! cos we scold ppl tgt when they talk very loud ,
keep on " diam lar! " here and there laughs ! hahaahah memoriable !
then trekking is AWESOME , im like sucha good protector ,
protecting those who are afraid of those branches and leaches ,
and got a few got onto leaches , and im sorry beatrice when i burn th leeches off ,
i burnt till your skin ! hopefully not very pain k ! sorrrrry D:
hahah , and th leeches is sooooooo small , oh dear , so this says , " NEVER BELIL INSECTS "
even if its size is small , or you can say is like CHILLIPADI ! right ? hahah !
then first day bus ride my bladder almost burst -.-
luckily amelia run with me tgt , hahaha ok lar i dont find it embarrassing ,
infact is funny ok hahaah .
then ... ok wait let me flashbackk...
ohyar about the firefly park !
begining i find it very nice lar , but behindbehind that time abit boring ,
and i think i saw crocodile ? i dont know but im sure ,
theres alot of rubbish -.- yucks !
(ok.. flashback again arh ... hangon !)
i think nothing more lar ,
last day shopping trip , we bought the same bag :)
me , shuqing and joyce .
hey guys , i may or may not be in th C div team ,
but great thnks you guys counted me in to buy the bag
and actually encourage me to continue playing even though after coach decided not to choose me
ok ?monday is the trial , hopefully i can get in , but im prepared for th worst alr ,
i will move on , i belived with you guys i can trained to be better and get in nxt yr ,
if i didnt this yr alrights :)
& yea anw the bagpack is cheap too ! RM35.90 ,
+-+ .... is around 12 dollar plus sing ? hahah , worth it !
and i bought a NUMBER 12 BADGE ,
fucking nice and i love it , cos ITS NUMBER 12 :) !
and yes after this trip , i find that 2H is a unique and special class to me ,
though we aint good in cheering and high all this ,
yet those times we go crazy in bus and during meal time all this ,
talking abt those rubbish we always does is really what other class dont i guess ?
and yes overall i love 2H alrights , we will always be !
i believed , we are not shown to be united but deeply inside ,
we are when we met with problems tgt abt the class cos ,
ITS 2H , 2HYPER ,SOARING AS ONE :)
lastly , i love you guys alrights , joyce ,liying , shuqing , yongqin , michelle ,
thnks for everything and all th care i get from you guys ,
and i know you guys is there when im alone , esp joyce ,
i love you sweetheart ! i know you care for me though you dont really show too much out ,
rightright ?! HAHAAH , without you im nothing , so does th rest ok !:D
last but not least , of cos sandra tan and vivian chua my roomates :)

& theres no definite ans ,
what you doing now is getting more and more like what x have said
and yes i couldnt hate you ,
but all i could say , get a life please
or maybe , we shld end here , end this whole story of ours,
you werent the one i get to know in th begining anymore ,
for you i've done all i could ,
teared for you several times ,
the hurt you've caused is so clearly shown that you actually meant so much to me ,
yet im nothing to you and yes you dont give a damn .
i couldnt blame you but myself being so willingly giving in to you ,
now i guess is enough and we shld end here .
i find that you are heartless.. or maybe you're more self-centred ,
and you've failed to be the perfect one anymore . . .
& yes im moving on , strong and daringly , without you :)
is so like putting down at 1000000000kg plus stone down in my heart ,
idontknowwhy ...

2009-03-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

was halfway packing my baggs ,
ok everyone is sleeping alr im here packing , know why ?
cos i dont intend to sleep hahaah.
ok will be away from 11 to 13 for learning journey to KL .
hohohos , my country ok i love it :D !
and i will miss tons and tons of people ...
hmm ... you you ,her her , him him blablablassss !
alot okays ! wish me luck fr th trip and come back safely ,
I DONT WANT TO SEE ANYTHING WHICH I SHLDNT SEE ,
you know i know ! WINKS ;))))))) !
and i only got one amulet , enough ? i swear i will bring it with me wherever i go ,
even bathing i put it beside me hahaha !
okok bigggggg smilllleees before i went pack and ton for th whole night ,
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ! NIGHTS SWEETIES !
theres this special someone in my mind now
& i wna start afresh ! :D

2009-03-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

just came home .
gave training a miss and actually wanted to buy bag with mum ,
in th end , mum dua me -.-
think back for training , i feel so ...
all coach do is despise me , maybe th way he teach is to correct us and push us ,
but for me it dont work .. in fact i felt more tired and tired ..
im turning officially 15 by nov , tornament on MARCH ,
does it mean i still can play ? or i couldnt ? i dont know ...
maybe all along for th 1yr plus of playing bball , im jus a weak ass ,
whom is useless and not even qualified for c div ..
th sec 1s are real great , their determination and their learning ,
is fast and correct , unlike me ..
always so slow .. is not something i want but i dont know why ... did any wire of my brain plug
to the wrong side ? or im jus not fit for basketball ..
i've been doubting myself comments for myself either from coach or others
have been gradually proving me like hey " you're a Loser of basketball "
and im jus a pentimun 1 indeed ... i dont know what to do ,
it seems like whatever im doing now or leading jus dont went well ,
isit my attitude in learning or my brain problems ?
or whatever i dont know ... i hate myself .
why im always th one being laughed at , th one being commented badly ..
why ? when can i really wake up and be someone useful ,
CHAI PEI EN ! WAKE UPPPP ...!
i want be someone useful but it seems to be like a journey to mount fuji ,
so tall , so high , so far ):
im getting more and more tired , have been telling myself not to give up ,
but it jus seems like nothing changes even my hardwork or seriousness ..
i dont get it , coach says my seriousness is in brain but not action ,
maybe im really a retard , hand and leg couldnt operate ..
maybe , just maybe ,
i shld really give up . . . i want number 12 jersey , alotalot ...
im DESPERATE FOR IT & i want get it with my own skills ..
but it seems like i couldnt and .. i felt so T.T
can any kind souls tell me what to do now ? i dont know ...
i want stamina ):
I WANT NUMBER 12 JERSEY OF COMPASSVALE THIS YEAR ,
this time it aint a joke , im serious I NEED NUMBER 12
IM DESPO FOR IT !

2009-03-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

i should be sleeping now .
but i couldnt ...
is so foolish to actually be so crazy over someone ,
whom actually think nothing of you but ownself.
people used to say , someone who you tend to love th most ,
is actually always th one hurts you th most , its true .
loving th person so deeply , i guess jus a word or jus an action ,
could actually make one's go crazy over it or heart-broken cos ,
th person whom you love , meant so much to you that ,
small action of themselves could actually meant so much in your heart .
if heaven makes us to meet , makes us to have memories thats so deep and memoriable ,
yet makes us to be ending off like a broken string , splitted into half ,
leading its own ways , tell me why ,
heaven makes us to know each-other in th first place ?
in contrast , if we were meant to split ,
does it meant that theres other one who is actually th one whom really meant to be ,
yet not to be met yet , so does it means that we will eventually forget th person ?
if so , no doubt heaven i wna speak soemthing out ,
IM SENTIMENTAL & yes im out of th WE you thought to be .
& you , i've billions and thousands of question that i wanted to ask ,
but before i would be so daring to ask you , it seems like i've providing ans ,
ans that you will be likely to reply and pieces of it forms out one word/ sentence ,
WORD : FOOLING
SENTENCE : laughs im just fooling you , cos i enjoy that attraction & attention !
for this , i've cried over manymany times ... & it left me ...speechless and fooled.
in th first place do you even know how much you actually meant to me ?
to get me all in you , to get me become sucha fool for you
& to get me think about you always ...
how many more years ahead ?
to forget you or i shld say to prove that you've been carved in my heart ?
& you're my everything , im your nothing ,
what you've said is lies & bullshitting , yet
i still loves you .
& yes im still so dumb for you . JUST you ...

2009-03-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

tireeeeeeeeeeed D: !
& i jus woke up , theres a few things in my mind now ,
1 ; WHERE IS MY FOOOD ? IM DAMN HUNGRY !
2 ; what to bring for KL trip ?! i haven bought my things yet !
3 : which bag can i use ? omg i dont think i got any bag that is big enough !
4 : shld i go cc ? or stay at home study ?
5 : CANNOT SAY :]
6 : tmr got traininggggg ):
7 : shld i upload fotos ?
8 : any song recently is hot and nice ? THINKING ...
9 : I WANT LEARN SWIMMINNNG IS BEING POSTPHONE AGAIN !!!!
---------------------------------END --------------------------------------------------------

okay crosscountry was damn funny lar , vian and me ran halfway
& we lost our way !
took bus back , met joyce and headed for SL ,
is a damnnnn bored one cos there aint sufficient materials and people ,
so we've done only half of th fencing sword.
& after that we are actually going swimming but while eating ,
looking at th time decided to postphone it , headed to cc instead .
raining cats and dog , but we decidedd to walk under th rain ,
and th moment we reached cc , th rain gets bigger than how it was ,
we were like " phewwww !" hahaha !
i guess it was th rain which make me feels kinda moodless and decided to head home .
reach home and after that chatted with one very stupid person ,
haha , ok im kind lar not stupid shld be fat polar bear ,
and i told her to tag me then we will meet up and she gave me sucha short tag !
so unfair right ? asshole !
eventually , we met up tgt with huiyee and im damn sleepy can -.-
accompany her to eat and after that we were hanging around compasspoint ,
damn huiyee she was damn high lar keep suan me ! asshole asshole !
sat down and slacked , kinda long and thnks arh ,
i was th one keep shuffling and giving out cards when playing daidi . grr !
was at there kinda long that finally some polar bear give an idea of going somewhere ,
around kovan to eat th soya bean dont know what lar , took 119 :)
( brb im off to eat first )

okay im back and th food taste like shit ! is not nice at all please -.- damn oilyyy !
and yea we took 119 haha im crazy when im in th bus asking huiyee abt some places .
reached , ate and chatted .
took bus back and halfway they decided to stop down play pool ,
& wtf i saw x -.- it seems like he is still th same ..
& . . . speechless !
so obviously i will walk off right ?
and we took bus back to cp once again , then headed to buangkok slack .
chatting , playing cards and blablabla ,
walked home & hahahaah my parents are all ASLEEP !
used comp for awhile and im off to sleep alr :)

and know what guys ?
i've bought a story book to read and th title is " BROKEN "
is damn nice and awesome haha . get it at popular !
and i find that is finally that today , i can sleep all i want till whatever time ,
is soooo great having this kind of days and it seems like ,
it have been weeks that i didnt have these days .
okay im seriously nothing to post anymore ,
training is tough , life is like shit , studies is like whatever lols.
....................................
i can only think of one and that one mostly in my mind aint you
but is you , however i wonder why i felt that way when i saw you .
is complicated... and daily life matters makes me feel so diff to even not to rmb you ,
JUST ONE DAY . . .
this road , how long would it takes ? i feel so tired now ....
well is jus out of randomness and i guess you guys dont have to know who is th 2 you
& yea dearest vivian chua ,
cheeer ! lead a better life w.o this kinda jerks !
boys nowadays jus so sucky and yea ,
ytd while i was talking to polar bear , i was kinda tired
but when we come to th topic of bad points abt boys ,
i feel so energetic and i guess i could state more than 10 man.

where is all th good boys ?! all extinct or no longer in singapore ?
it seems like girls and boys roles is being swapped nowadays ...
what a world ! ok bye peoples !

2009-03-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

Time check : 1.22am
& im posting !
no photos for today , well jus finish watching shutter ,
soooo boreeeed , th overall storyline was th same jus th character changed
& yes i watched before alr & is damn freaking stupid reminds me of certain things...
and though i've watched it alr but is veryvery scarrrrryyyy ):
somemore im watching it alone , kinda makes me think how great would it be ,
if theres soemone beside me accompanying me to watch !
last time it was my cousin but she went my aunt house to stay alr ,
left me alone D:
okay enough of craps ,
school life was getting more and more boring ,
take today as example , CL teacher didnt come and i draw for th whole lesson ,
eng slept fr th whole lesson while art , half of th lesson ...
seeseeseeee ! is boring isnt it ?i dnt wna sleep anymore but is really BORING !
& aww , i've been kind of concentrating alr
but i still failed 3sub & ms teo is calling my parents !
....no comments :)

mum is sooo funny arh ?
she says as long as it wasnt mid-year result is ok
& tcher calling her is what she cfm will get everyyr
what i can say is " orh ok lo good " cos is fact haha.
& im not improvinggggg notgoood ! failllllled !
what should i do ?
arggghhhhhh , life life life ..
thinking back at 2008 , begining of th year i felt so carefree !
& happiness seems to be with me all day long man !
WHERE IS THE ME IN 2008 ?!?!
any kind souls can help me get me back?
what talking me -.- okay is retarded i know.
but well 2008 aint a good year i would rather 2009 is tough in th begining
and better at th end of year , not like 2008-.-
sucks ok !

crosscountry tmr and once again , i haven sleep .
feel like ton-ing th whole night since i got to wake up at 6am ? lols.
1week ago we went pasir ris park and is sucha great place for running,
hmm , i shall open a chalet there or maybe a holiday chalet?
ok what talking me again , overrall I JUST WANT CHALET AT PASIR RIS PARK !
i wna walk at th beach in th night , th windddd omg so nice !
hahaha i can imagine it now alr ! esp theres this rock specially thre ,
okok enough im going crazy anw , i dont think i will be so rich to open chalet there lor ):
saddddedd ! & tmr we are going bedok resevoir ? lols wheere th hell is this ?
laughs , later lost halfway then dont need go hahaha !
SL meeting tmr im still in a lost of what to do , obviously ,
i aint a good leader , sooo sorry guys ,
once again I FAILED ):

just got to pick up slowly i guess...
hopefully... okay shall catch some sleep before i went for th run later on ,
anw im tired pls ! but i dont know why i jus couldnt sleep !
you know you know ! ppl usually seems to be more emotional at nigth than th day ,
so cant blame , and th day is for day-dream ,
night is for what ?!
NIGHT-DREAM LAR! okay i seems to be self-entertaining-.-
sounds retarddded i know but im veryveryvery sian arhhhh !
okay lar , byeeeeeeees people !

2009-03-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

photos above are taken by me this few days:)

Eat , sleep , schooling , training , bballing , homed .
my life this few days revolves around home , cc , 260 & school ,
nothing else , leading kinda boring yet shag life ,
training mon , wed , fri ...zzz.
currently training hard for tornament , hopefully i can leave good impression ,
play well and dont let coach look down on me anymore :)
i just got to keep myself veryvery occupied because ,
i dont want to think abt thinks that really sucks , yea .
sometimes , things just seems to come in wrong timing ,
i wonder whats going onnnn ?
well i wont be updating more about daily life but just ranting
& overall bcos i find it sosososos borinnng to post abt it , i guess you readers aint interested at all
isnt it ? is like so nothing-special !
wellwellwelll , let me think about what to post ....
OHYAH , im terribly sorry for not uploading photos due to some technical problems -.-
ok is cos my lousy and outdated compppp & my lazyness .
btw , our class tee is herehereheree , okay i admit im damn kia su arh ,
th cutting and printing was damn big and baddd but material was great ,
and i jus keep ranting to msteo abt th printing on my EXACTLY shirt , so suay -.-
and she is good to change with me , hohohoho !
Kl trip on wed , im veryvery eager on it ,
but it just sucks when my phone aint really working !
anw , i feel so lucky to have weichong to actually LEND me his psp for that 3days 2nights ,
aww , great friend hahaah ! brotherbrother !
thenthenthen ... what more to posst ?
basically im leading a fine and simple live now ,
just waiting for some kind souls to actually really brighten it up
& entertainment , other than that im ok with my beloved ones in school .
THEY ARE GREAAAAT & I LOVES THEM !:D
specially thanks for a few some much-appreciated caring from these fews ,
when im feeling down / happy for this few weeks ,
of cos theres this dearest Joyce sweetheart of mine ,
thanks for unwillingly listening to my troubles and trying hard to advice me leading me through
this piece of darkdarkdarrrrrkness.
So does some monkey sheila ,
& yeo huiyee and to man si to accompany in th night till morning ,
which i cried & needed someone to speak to .
for you guys , im sure i will walk through this path ,
for th one last saying and most determined promise.
loves :)
.
.
.
.
anymore to say ? ohyah i've got this person to thanks to !
she is cheering me up in school and she got this weirdweird sound effect ,
and weirdweird way of cheering but what i feel most great is ,
she herself is down but she still cheeered me up !
thnks girlf , sandra tan !
sorry sometimes i didnt laugh at your so-called sound effect or cheerings but
IS APPRECIATED i swear :] !
haaha you too , cheer okay ?
....
okay whats wrong with me ?
thanking ppl all around ? hahah theres more okay ,
like so crab who just talk to me ytd :)
MICHELLE CHEN SHI YUN , okay i rmb-ed it , so great of me !
okok , enough of thanking ,
in conclusion i know that im not alone along this path ,
CHAI PEI EN GOT TO BE STRONG RIGHT ?! i know i know :)
& bless me that i can get my centre moves well-trained !
thats all lar , LASTLY OUT OF RANDOMNESS ,
I HATE MY LANGARTS TCHER MR LAI , I'VE BEEN RUNNING OUT ,
MISSING AND NOT HANDING IN HIS HOMWORK !
I DONT WANT THIS ): but i jus couldnt focus on his lessssson !
what the hell is MOE doing ? hiring this kinda of tcher ?!
saying that once he got his pay and thats his work done ?! he didnt even cared whether he
taught us in a right or wrong way ? im damn freak out by him ok !
thats all , byezzzzzzsxzzsxxzswx!
maybe MIA-ing in blogging cos it kinda BORES me ,
& i guess all my readers is running awaaaay alr haha.
im so tired , goodnights all !

2009-03-02T08:11:00.001-08:00

photos will be up tmr due to my fcuking internet connection .
all along what x & x said and commented is true , i shld have head their advice .
it seems like is abit too late now as i've alr fallen deep into it ,
but i just got to get out of this , deep down my heart now ,
i felt angryness overwhelming so does disappointment & sadness ,
tears rolling uncontrollably , at this point of time ,
i think i've really blinded by th past w.o knowing that you aint actually as perf as i thought to be ,
i've been dreaming and thinking , i wondered was i asking too much just for a talk/chat ?
it maybe or you enjoy fooling me ? at this point of time i would like to say ,
FCUK YOU ! _l_
whats happened is happened , dont cry over a split milk ,
thnks for letting me know theres really this kinda of bastard living on { adapted from x }
but well , i could nv hide that you once really gave me wonderful memories ,
is just that 1/4 of happiness & 3/4 of sadness but still , thnkyou.
if life were given a choice to re-start , i will still choose to meet you ,
i've never regret knwing you and being a fool to you at least ,
i've tried my best . is kinda contracdicting , but still ,
you let me see another piece of world which i think it suits me more :]
Billions of words aint enough to express what i feel and wna tell you now
& blogger aint a private things , somethings shld be meant to be kept ,
afterall , is just the time got to put a fullstop for this ,
enough is enough and th extend of mentally tiredness of mine in this whole matter ,
is not what could be written out easily ,
if die would be able to see how tired i was , im willing to show ,
but im not dumb anymore , is too foolish to do this jus for someone who dont care ..
life just got to go on & i swear im going to find one better than you ,
one who wont broke their promise upteen times ,
one who wont acted to be angel and in th other hand devil in reality deep down in heart ,
one who wont be so self-centred and selfish ,
one who wont be making me giving in and sacrificing as much as you do ,
one who wont be making me cry more than laughing ,
just one who is better than you and suits me more.
Lastly , iloveyou ,
goodbye 18.01.200X { dont ask me what this date is }
it will be th one final time i losing my skin for you ,

2009-03-01T03:24:00.000-08:00

im back :)
okay eventually i went for th camp 2days 1night .
begining is kinda bored as is pouring heavily , so stay at th hardcourt there ,
went played bball when th heavy rain starts to drizzle , but not long after ,
it rain cats and dogs again .
is kinda long and finally th goodies were here for us to packed.
is kinda tiring but basketball seems to be th most efficient one ! haha!
then went to play bball again .
around 12plus th rains stop and we walk to skcc ,
have our bags and everything there,
settled down and damn monkey sheila is very joker -.-
she found her territory and is th backstage which like kind of creepy ,
but in th end i doze off for awhile and wake up at th so-called territory.
not long later , a few went in for chats ,
me & joyce went to th auditorium seats to sit ,
till sheila says she wanted to go out and walk for awhile ,
walked to sculpture and back to skcc , but before that we sat down
& have kinda heart-to-heart talk ..
thnks dearests for being someone whom i could cry to & being there ,
giving advice for me , i know you guys are trying to help me yea :]
around 5.30am we walked back and oh-my-damn-god ,
is another day that i didnt slept th whole night ? laughs.
so shld be around 30plus hours right as excluded that th previous day i did sleep for around 4plus hours ? hahaha.
th event went well and im sooooooo excited whenever i saw theres this lil kidddy in th run !
hahah obviously i will cheeer for them right !:D
and i remember theres one damnnn cute somemore is canoissan ( ang moh.dont know how spell)
went mac , th damn weather is sunny like freak !
so went back to auditorium and all of us lie dead flat on our sleeping bag and
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz....
till 11am , went off separate ways and thats all :)
came home and sleep all th way till i heard this familiar voice ,
which i've not heard for 1weeks ! guess who is this ?
IS MY MUMMMMMMIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE ! AWW.. :)
wellwell , is contracidicting when mummie is around i always find her naggy ,
but w.o her naggy i feel sooo bored at home and quiet !hahaha .
jus now intended to do my homework , in th end ..
happy new year ah ? i forget bring back my maths tb ):
nvm shall get someone fr th question ! haha.
i guess till here ? short post .
stay tune awhile more when i finish eating , i will post some photos up ,
around 8pm :)

bye dudeees !

Falling deeper this time . . .

it seems like im jus a fool for you ,

willingly and stupidly ..

2009-02-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

i asked myself whywhywhy ,
over and over again . how i wish i was thinking too mch,
but i know clearly well , im not ...
i wna things to stay on like how it was recently ,
but.. it seems to be playing back once again &
tears started to roll down once again like how it used to be...
ytd just sucks . internet connection got problem ,
calling my cousin to wake up and help me fix , he shout so loud ,
as though i want his life and my uncle and aunties trying to be oblivious abt whats happening.
wtf isnt it ? nvm i manage to fix it this morning ..
ytd was jus now my day ..):
asking myself all over again about why and how ..
but it seems like theres no outcomes...

crying out frantically for you in th lonely night ,
where were you ? ...
did you even know how much you meant to me ?
...missess..

2009-02-26T23:44:00.000-08:00

what a weather . . .
looking at th weather , is jus somehow like my mood now..
schl was boring , except for p.e .
after schl shuqing mum drove me and joyce to rivervale plaza.
hahah thnks & shuqing's mum is funfun la haha.
was having a heart-to-heart talk with sweetheart ,
well she still th one , nver fails to make me open whats hidden in my heart :D
loves you laaaarh haha!
saw sheila , sweetheart went off
& chatted with sheila ,
& theres this bunch of uncivilise ppl calling out ppl names-.-
oh just freeaking hell , fish off alrights , bunch of jerks .
walked home , saw my uncle .
he gave me a umbrella when i told him not to ,
took it but i didnt used it except when im waiting th traffic lights to cross th roads ,
then walk under th rain alr , kind of stupid i know..
arggh.. whatever i just wna go sleep ,
im veryveryvery vexed , confused , moody..and alot more ):

will it be another deeper fall this time ?
or would it be like th song of avril lagine ; happy ending , i guess not .
whats th problem with this , is not what i want ...

2009-02-25T07:12:00.000-08:00

THIS POST IS KINDLY BEING REMOVED DUE TO SOME PRIVATE REASONS :)

2009-02-25T06:27:00.000-08:00

shagggggg ..

training was usual , went cc later on.
haha seen my idol :] .
& schl today sucks totally,
class & lessons is boring and sleepy , yet today's tcher all is cannot sleep one ,
plus fierce one -.- still need do alot of work ! zz..
and stupid javon make me need write a report and reflection of 200words.
wtf , ytd alr nothing liao , he still keep irritate me by smiling and worst ,
make funny faces at me -.-
i already never look at him man ,
then th whole class once again starts jeering at him
& clement started using th environment free stickypad to stick onto his chair.
zzz.. dumb . then he still keep laugh at me and ,
an eye for an eye so i wrote " i love my fatty acids and glycerol in my body & oil is my daily tibit"
hahahahaha.& i paste on his chair !
but im kind ok i draw alr , i see tcher come in jitao threw it away .
after lesson still kana-.- whatever , im so not going to do th report man,
is either i tmr then do or i not going to do.
damn tiring now .. going to sleep .
& is another day , which i skipped my dinner ..

deep & meaningless ,
it seems like whats broken can never went back to its original shape.
confused...

2009-02-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

i dont owe you any single thing alright ,
take it or leave it just fuck off.
& yes javon lee , dont you think you are finding troubles to yourself ?
when i said stop your jiao bin you still want come make me ?
fine now , discipline case , we shall see who win man.
you sucks , just freaking hell get away from me man.
training tmr and i wonder how would it be ?
mum aint at home , away for so many days , room is messy like shit -.-
i hate home ):
life sucks except of lil bit of happiness and colours filling my life :D
till here and bye ,
bless me for tmr !

2009-02-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

roaaaarh !
so boring right now , currently using schl dont know call what MSI lappy -.-
and is use to search phythagoras dontknw what shit ass thing .
still can blast music in class haha.
so shag nowadays , luckily today no training orelse i will die man .
ok need to go find info alr , byebye !
update more later go home:)
and im damm pissed off man , esp by th retard in my class-.-
act one cute give me jiao bin , JAVON LEE YOU SUCKS DICK LAH DEY !
okok really got to go alr now 12 liao . 12.20pm must finish ):

2009-02-23T07:37:00.000-08:00

Currently im happy but somehow and somewhat im vexed .
just a simple day had past today , mum was away for m'sia ever since friday ,
and i doubt she will be returning in by this week due to my aunt's condition had worsen ?
morning was lucky cos ms teo let me run go buy tie dont have to stand up :)
well , thats all im tired and off to sleep.
i love ytd and today was damn pissed off ,
why must coach only see my bad points ? i dont know lah ):
after training was fun ok cos i saw zhanglang & jiajia too.
well they are really joker man , chatted at koufu tgt.
was talking abt zhanglang or jiajia who more pro haha ,
damn funny & i so awkward la haha .
i guess i just have to learn to be satisfied for what im having now .
No regrets & no doubts ,
it will last till th very last moment .
if we're fated to be tgt i guess we'll meet again
& is just all revolves around fate , so yea goodbye to 11:)

2009-02-21T16:31:00.000-08:00

hey dudes ! :)
crosscountry was a shag one ytd.
but well im very satisfied .
went over for SL , quarrel with some inconsiderate jerks.
cant he just have more confidence with th class ? -.-
went ate at kopitiam & headed for cc.
bballed all th way till night ,
ate and mum wasnt at home , due to boring ,
decided to walk around sengkang area, walk till leg pain lols.
homed around 11pm.
this few days i must really suffer poverty( dont know how spell )
cos mum actually thought she sunday coming out yet ,
postphone to tues due to my aunt's condition aint improving ,
well my aunt is in hospital but so far is what i know is she cant walk .
anw , i left 20$ for th next 3days ):
ok gtg alr , kind of couldnt sleep today ,
keep waking up at alternatively
& couldnt really sleep.
till here , byebyes , wont be blogging so often alr ,
packed schedule and shag life ! sec 2 aint as easy as i thought.

im not waiting , im just loving someone whom wil never love me ,
i knows . & all i deserve is to look at you from far ,
as a stranger , i tried to give up ,
but im sorry i couldnt and im alr too tired to try.

2009-02-20T09:50:00.000-08:00

wtf crosscountry tmr and i couldnt sleep ?
-.- is alr 1am gng 2am . mind going through whats happening today ,
and i feel so... whatever , is not what words could represent.
and grats girl for wining against NCHS ,
ok nothing great for myself i didnt even score-.-
just a bench player or shld i say ... dont feel like going on anymore abt this topic.

and went over 260 , played.
before that i received a news and wtffff la ):
well , no choice is fated.
ate , lights off , play bullet on 2points
& slack with that sotong huiyee awhile ,
so yea right here im home blogging.

I CANNOT SLEEP.
I CANNOT SLEEEP.
I CANNOTCANNOT SLEEP .
WEIRD THINGS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND NOW.
I CANNOT SLEEP.
I CANNOOOOOOT SLEEEEEEEP .
ARGGGGGGGGGGGH ..
OK , DIEDIE I JUST GTG TO MY BED NOW ,
DO PUMPING , SITUPS ,STRECTHING OR WHATEVER ,
JUST TO MAKE MYSELF TO SLEEP .
BYEBYE !

th absence of you makes today a boring day
& a overall bad day for me .
i miss you , humans are all greedy ,
so am i .

2009-02-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

edited/}

ok i just packed my bag and i notice something ,

thnks sweetheart i love it la .

now i really admit i pentimum 1 alr laaaa !

for th past previous hours i didnt really open my bag or what ,

only take my wallet and phone through my plastic bag that i brought to schl to put sweetheart's cookie ,till now when i wanted to go sleep ,

i packed my bag i was really given a surprise ,

im damn elated to see that ok sweetheart !

hahaha , i was thinking why you nv passs me anything -.-

i think later i will sleepwalk or talk cos i really damn high now la hahah !

& i love it la cos theres our photo tgt omggg !

last but not least , sweetheart your coverpage fotos of yours ,

IS SUPERDUPERUBER NICE OK ! HAHAAH :)

Happy 1year anniversary ,

beloved joyce sweetheart :]

hope you like th thing i made for you

& th ugly handwriting card of mine !

loves you !;D

blogging boreees me , i guess is due to th reasons of nowadays ,

my time is more occupied and scheduled ?
anw i guess i dont have much readers too so yea haha.
sec2 life was shag , all surrounding me is schling , training , bballing , go home .
thats it , no life yet simple and fruitful.
school work so far so good ? lols.
maths is still manageable but what curious me is ,
whenever theres test / ST , i always will forget either th formula ,
or forget what isit saying about , this kind of situation nvr happen to me since p6 ,
now come back to me -.-
havings lots of leadership things to settle like ,
setting up a booth for sports carnival as th leader of my group ( sabo-ed )
worst of all , my group have th most mischevious and nosiest boy in th class ,
damn it !
tmr friendly match against NCHS ,
all th best to all tmr , C GIRLS GOGOGOGGO ! :)
. ... lalalalalalalalalaalala
. zazazazazakikikikikikiki
. blablablablaaaaaaa...
nothing to say alr , told ya BLOGGING BORES ME NOWADAYS !
bye dudeees .
i know i can do it , give me confidence guys !

my tagboards went crazy , keep show " you failed to post this tag blablabla"
so replied all here & is very troublesome grrrh!

mark : hello :)
vodka : oh sure :D
Fangling : oh man retarded lingling ! haha miss you ok , meet up soon la , though going out with you seems retarded :x & thnks la happy valentines too !
Xiwen : oh hello , still kind of rmb you ,yea long time no seee :)
Wenjun : yah la all your fault la make me miss you ! dont want la you also wont say " ok " one lor everytime busy here and there ! ):
JM : lame ah , my sunburn like so long ago alr and im not bread , shudup !
Sheryl : welcome la , loveloves :D haha , im just doing my part ok !

2009-02-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

Happy valentine .

a valentine day with no valentine ,

but friends and basketball ,

a kind of packed day ,

gave crosscountry a miss &

went SL meeting instead.

Bball-ed and homed at night ,

around 9pm plus.

currently studying my sci with lots of question mark on head ,

lassst topic to study yet th most difficult ones.

well , didnt really post for th past few days ,

nothing exactly happens except problems after one another.

have some family conflicts ,

just kind of personal problems & mooody all days .

other than that ,last but not least ,

my dream is shattered totally on fri ,

& i wonder could i really fit in to be th last 5 players ?

hopefully ... maybe not i guess..

bye.

How perfect would it be if you were around today ?

millions and billions of words could explain how im feeling now ,

things of you , pictures of you flashing through my mind ,

i wonder , how you spent your day today ?

2009-02-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

A total break down ,

all effort came down drain , none knows , none sees ,

sucha let down ,

im sorry .

I FAILED .

2009-02-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

Tell me what i've done to deserve these ,
all these happening to me ?
Heaven've been treating me like fool ,
& i've nvr have other choices ,
whats more i could do than ranting ?
Im very sick of going through these ,
Theres no more jokes this time ,
i really have enough ,
JUST FCUK OFF .
nobody will ever understand what im going through.
im all alone going through these ,
none is going to care and be thre for me . . .
sorry i aint as strong as you think im ,
in fact , im fear of everything whats ahead me.

2009-02-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

You're the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. . .
3/4 dreams 1/4 reality ,
it all lies with that first sight ,
when i look into your eyes ,
i knew it last forever .

2009-02-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

Sun burn ! Sun burn ! Sun burn !

ok tiring day with lots of things happening ,
got happy , sad , and ... dont know lol.
bballed with teamates at 260 for self-training ,
and whats th problem with th weather so damn freaking hot ,
now not only my lips brk , my face also kana sun burn lol.
but is damnnn fun today , is been long since we played ,
or i gues is that i've miss alot of training cos last week sick ? lols.
then went over to cc awhile ,
and kinda couldnt regconise jizong ? lol.
saw alot of familiar faces.
before going off played with peiqi , ahteng and sabrina .
funfun :)
ok nothing much later on , got to rush for homework ,
bye .

high and elated :)

2009-02-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Back from leadership camppppp :)

actually before i came blogging ,
i've been thinking , how should i blog ?
LOL , but theres no ans because halfway ,
i drop dead to my lala land and slept from 6plus till 8plus.
& yes th camp was great , in fact a brand new experience for me !
before i countinue , i kinda wanted to say this camp is damn enjoyable one,
tgt witht th companion of Joyce ,Liying,Shuqing & Vivian chuaaaaa !

Day 1 :
prepared met sweetheart &
went took bus , was kinda late but nvm haha.
then headed to th YOG centre , is kinda boring in th begining ,
but th game is nice :) & we won th olympic ring haha !
followed by it was dinner , haha is kinda delicious one ,
i guess is because we were all very hungry ? lols.
then theres lecture and movie . kinda boring for th lecture ,
but still manage to pay attention to it & th movie is waterboys ,
which i find that i've watched it during primary school , but just couldnt remember.
supper and went back to bunks ,
all th 5 of us didnt really sleep till 1am going 2am ,
was busy chatting and laughing away hahah !
kinda memoriable night ever &
me & liying just notice being friends for years , thats th first camp we get so close
cos th previous camp we didnt really like sleep tgt in th same bunk haha.
fall asleep kinda fast for me too during th first night ,
but i gotta damn weird dream which stunt me too.

Day 2:
was superduperuber tired ,
and damn our bunks people woke up around 6am going 6.30am ,
kinda live up to th name of singaporeans "kiasu"
cos we actually going assemble only on 7.30am -.-
LOL. then make me cant fall asleep alr ,
because during th morning when i woke up , its damn hard for me to sleep back -.-
then had morning stretching and games which is like hell to me
cos my stomach is alr calling for " fooood !"
&finally breakfast is here ,
ok i ate 2burgers :x
if th mayonese more it will be nicer man ! LOL.
went back to resource room for briefing in proj ,
and we get triathlon ! damn diff one ,
when having th booth thing , kinda disappointed one ,
shallnt say anymore .
then lunch time , dint ate much cos i dont really like friedrice ,
so theres games, which is water activities-.-
is damnnnnn shiok but kinda bad one for me cos i dont have extra shorts !
luckily it dries fast and wth ,
th 4of us get very wet except for shuqingggggg !
she just partially which is like only a big spot on her shirt which is like so insignificant la !
hahaah . then they still tell us sit on th grasspatch to do reflection ,
obviously we know is water coming from behind , luckily i covered my shoe ,
& vivian and me was damn nervous there lols hahaha funny !
& thats jus th begining man-.-
later on theres this photo taking session and water comes from infront ,
luckily i push liying down then i hide behind her ,
but i still got th water on my hair-.- zzz..
nxt was crossroads ,
kinda fun one cos like finally th group seems enthu abit and contributing haha ,
& i saw alot of people , begining when i step out of th school going to rivervale mall ,
i saw baodung , went in i saw weichong and thnks for treating me eat takoyaki !
then nxt was choong wen jun that asshole baby of mine ! haha ,
but still gotta thnk her for th photo information ok :) miss you dearest !
split up and luckily those places is around rm and rp ,
so we kinda got alot & went kfc i saw ben liang ,
damn ass he said to lend me th doraemon till th nxt time we meet then return him ,
in th end when i went back kfc to find azimah , he took it back )': !
nvm i shall get myself a doraemon keychain hahaha !
then went back schl , washup
& movieeee , haah th movie is nice ok !
though they skip alot due to insufficient of time and too long on th lecture which makes me sleep! and i rmb th phrase :
is better to make a fool of your life then leading a worthless life .
roughly , and i find meaningful ! haha.
supper and lights out time ,
was busy taking photos and
yesyesyes ! im damn elated because at least i finally have 2photos of me and shuqing !
though one is liying secretly taken when me and her was taking photo
and another one her eye close ,
but nvm is better than nothing ! hahaha .
and theres a candid photo which was damn nice of hers la ,
if you guys dont know , will think is computer effect one LOL!
hopefully i can get to take a 3rd and proper foto with shuqinggg haha !
is kinda difficult night for me cos i couldnt sleep ,
and again weird thing flash into my mind zzz.. irritating !
veryveryvery diff then fall asleep ,
suddenly i woke up just because my big buisiness call -.-
went back and took me 1hr to fall asleeep please ,
1HOUR ! omg -.- actually is short alr cos i've tried couldnt sleep for 3hours plus ,
sitting on th bed turn here and there , sit here sit there & exercise ..kinda stupid but is real ! LOL !
Day 3 , TODAYYYY :D!
then my lips is super pain ytd night , morning is like sausage like that ,
damn red -.- then have morning games again.
& same my stomach damn hungry lol.
breakfast was really a heavy one yet nice !
briefing againnn so tiring and i fall asleep :x
game was next and is fun , though we got last ,
but when th other teams finished we were given choice to choose stop th game ,
or continue and yes we continue with our perseverance & so ,
we won ! hahaha.
area cleaning , very slack lol.
& nxt was damn sad la ,
i would like to say being in th camp for 3days ,
today i experienced servant leadership & i sure im gna do it one day ,
this aim will be something i will lead for th rest of my life , i swear.
you guys know what ?
counsellers , sec3s actually helped us wash our feet .
is outrageous isnt it ? but yes they did it &
you guys rocks man .
& in fact we teared , i felt that theres none in this world is heartless ,
because shuqing cried too &
partly is because th song la ! they played th " you raise me up "
somemore 2 times ! & joyce is so influential because when she teared ,
2nd was me , i was actually alr controlling but seeing her cry ,
my tears came down and followed by vivian & liying.
shuqing actually controlled her tears haha.
& thnks adeline & li yen ,
stupid adeline make me feel so what la ,
told her to roughly clean still clean till very detail and wen rou !
but still a great thnks to you guys .
whats worst was when th leadership trainer mr chua give his speech
specially on th part saying actually our mother is doing servant leader to us everyday ,
cooking , doing house chores . . . that was th part i cry alot
& i felt regret , for that moment , th first time i felt so regretful
because i remember th night before th leadership camp , i showed attitude to my mum
just because of my head was still pain ,
infact that night i couldnt sleep , actually i feel weird because ,
everytime when it comes to night time my moodswing is damn serious ,
in fact i can even cry for no reasons , i remember th first night of th camp i was like tt too ,
luckily i've th rest 4 of my beloved ones to chat with :)
like for now , i think i only spoken to my mum 4-5times from 9pm ,
till now 11.22pm. zzz..
ok back to topic , so we did survey & took our prizes ,
off we headed to eat at kfc tgt with sq , joyce and vian.
went skcc awhile then joyce say she wants go home ,
so went home tgt with joyce &vivian ,while shuqing went home later on .
haha, im damn happy cos i got th magazine of th 2main actors of
"it starts with a kiss" , which is th show i mentioned previously
& it left th LAST PIECE ! hohoho , credits to vivian chua ! haha.
once i reached home i felt super uneasy cos they moved th furni ONCE AGAIN .
this time including my room . -.-
just got to bear with it i guess .
bathed and read th mag ,
halfway i fall asleep lols !
ok , is now 11.27pm ,
& im going to either watch show or sleep cos ,
i still feel very tired after taking a nap of 2plus hours .
LOL.

there isnt much affinity between you & me to meet ,
maybe i should currently focus on other things than you,
& i clearly knows you're hardly able to be replace . . .
stop your pace of life ,
look back and ask ,
whats missing in your life & what you really gotta do to make your life
more meaningful and essential.
let it be something you'll be proud of when you are old ,
let it be meaningful and unfrogettable when you look back these days you're leading now.
not to be sad for what you got and what you've lost ,
cos time will nvr travel back & just be lucky that you once have it.
everything you got is everything that deserves for you
cherish whats you having after on &
nvr let history replay once again.

2009-02-05T01:55:00.000-08:00

just another simple day w.o schooling .
ok i've miss 2weeks of wed &thurs lesson .
boreeeeeeeed like shit ,
simply eat , take medicine & sleep , same routine ,
but well im not a sleeping queen , so other than that ,
i've finally finish watching my 恶作剧2吻 which is a 2nd part of 恶作剧之吻
but i dint watch 恶作剧之吻 then skipped to th 2nd part cos in th begining i didnt even know there is first and 2nd part -.- but nvm i'll complete 恶作剧之吻
when i've got th time cos is 31 episodes ! luckily 恶作剧2吻 only 20epi !
-.-

ok kinda boring part for those who nvr watch ,
but well go catch it is super nice ,
roughly is saying abt there is this simple minded girl who aint intelligent at all ,
but she is damn brave because she dare to tell a guy she've been in love for 2yrs that she likes
him . in th end , she become th laughing stock of th whole schl due to being rejected .
but she didnt give up !
which is actually very lil girl will do isnt it ?
this simple minded of hers which only wants to get this IQ 200 yet cold-blooded guy to like her ,
makes her goes all th way and finally touched the guy to marry with her !
well begining they seems to have some communication problem ,
but gradually through ups and downs they become a very loving couple ,
& even they married , this girl is still veryvery in love with this guy ,
in fact she do whatever she can to be with this guy like ,
she try veryvery hard to be a nurse so that she could work with her husband who is a doctor .
imagine someone who aint great in studies ,
who all along didnt concentrate and think abt her future ,
out of a sudden she got to re-study and go back to th starting point of
studying on th course of nursing & succeeded !
great isnt it ? & yes this is th power of love .
& this girl in th show , is someone whom i think we should learn from ,
this simple mind of her ,
going through all th obstacles through great determination
i guess this goes along with th saying;
happiness is something we must achieve on our own .
:)

if i can be like this girl ,
having this simple thinking , great determination & dont care how other looks on me ,
it will be great isnt it ? so what if being simple-minded yet stupid ?
well everything can start from learning right ?
after watching this show , i fins that i've been too sensitive on what others comment to me ,
& is time to ignore those stupid comments and prove them wrong .
i remembered this sentence said by th girl in th show(translated from chinese) ;
im born to be more slow and stupid than others ,
so i must work double hard .

haha , this time i've really learn alot from this show ,
and compared to those taiwan shows i watched , this show is th best so far
& im getting more&more in love with th life of taiwan ! :D
hmm , gtg prepare my leadership camp stuffs alr
& yes im recoveringggggg ;D !

i guess i just got to work harder to get your love ,
or maybe is fated that i'll meet you but
not fated that you're th person whom will walk with me in th path of my future life.
27nov08 , i'll nvr forget .

2009-02-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

just came back from schl -.-
didnt attend schl ytd ,
instead of attending schl , went see doctor & was given 2days of MC .
but today i insist of attending schl because i rmb coach says ,
there will be friendly match on today ..
but ..i just couldnt stand my headache ..
in fact coach didnt tell us about who our opponent is ,
so i guess is selection for our c-div match ?
but well im so lucky to be sick on today ,
what can i say ? who can i blame ?
myself . for being sucha sicko and weak ass .
whats happen is happened .
till here , i shall go sleep so stop thinking all this .
& now i know actually headache , aches of back
is th effect of flu . lols.
my leg is feeling veryvery numb now . hais.

just a look of yours ,
could make me go crazy .
just you , having you, could makes me feel satisfied ,
as though im th world happiest girl .
but heaven just dont seems to want me be th world happiest girl . . .
it all lies in fate & im totally lost in this word ...

2009-02-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

dont feel like saying abt today ,
anw is just schling & training though im sick .
& fcuk during lesson my head was pain like hell , if can
i really wish i can pull this head off ,
ok i shallnt elaborate much cos only me myself knows how it feels.
after training went bballed & homed arnd 8plus going 9pm

i've no mood for homeworks neither talks on phone ,
my head is very pain , my mood isnt good
& my day today wasnt good till where though i saw "*"
but when going off i heard soemthing , yet i couldnt confirm it cos i was on phone with someone .
ok i dont feel like posting alr ... my head is FUCKING pain ,
can someone just hit my head hard to make me faint ?

theres only for me to be envious
what i can do is asking myself , whywhywhy . . .
& th ans i get is wait&wait&wait . . .
im veryvery sick of waiting . . .
271108 , 2mths 6days . . .

2009-02-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

life is like fuck ?
ok is better to accept it , adapt it instead of complaining yea ?
so yea im trying .

just finished my work ,
my revision , homework & some work for th class thing .
i find that i just got to kick off my stupid habit of having th attitude in homework
such as ; ANYHOW DO ,LAZY DO , RANTING SO MUCH YET DO NOTHING
& ALOT MORE MAN !-.-
w.o all these i completed all my homework now , SATISFIED TILLLLL ,
dont -know-how -explain hahahaha !
worst of all when doing all these homeworks ,
im suffering from headache and my irritating flu suddenly acts up.
but i still manage to finish ! high man !
i think i got to sleep alr ,
cos my head very giddy now ..zzz
goodnights peoples !

oh man ,
bitches nowadays are everywhere !
but what i've seen today , they just got to learn how to gossip ppl w.o letting ppl know,
cos i caught them red-handed ! LAUGHS !
& whats th problem with their mind man ,
they knows who th person like , yet they gossip about th person with ANOTHER guy -,-
fucktard _l_
but i shall listen to what crab says
" mouth is theirs you also cannot do anything right ? "
another one :
" and ignorance is bliss , sometimes "
so yes crab be honoured i post what you says up here haha !

2009-01-31T20:31:00.000-08:00

ok just a short post before i went out .
my family financial like going back to how it was on th begining of 2008 ?
cos mum lost her job ? & dad had quarrel with uncle or whoever ,
so he is not working with them anymore &
yes now both my parents not working .
so yea , who will yang me ? laughs.
i think i half- study half work better -.-
& is like hell to me when mum says she'll get me a lappy on feb ,
when now she has lost her job ?
zzzz... suddenly im in love with W595 ,
ok i totally agree that human's nature is greedy ,
cos im one -.- though i just got my phone on nov ,
& i love it yet ... now is like th ear-piece connection there got prob ,
scratches everywhere ?
ok no choice i think i neeed to bring it for service
& use these till both my parents got money or me myself have enough money to change phone .
& yes im back from malaysia :)
but im still very sick ! hopefully i could recover by today!
& ytd was a day i suddenly hate singapore government
& damn th fucking police officer _l_
shallnt elaborate but just wonder ,
whats th problem with singapore , chewing gum also not allowed -.-
must as well put " drug trafficker&chewing gum smuggler for death sentence"
better lah ?! ok im just kinda ranting ..
anw i know singaporeans USED to spit those anywhere ..
so yeah all singaporeans fault -.-
kk , just craps .
gtg & update later :)

2009-01-30T04:00:00.000-08:00

im seriously veryveryvery sick today ,
my throat sucks and my flu just got worst .
went to my family doctor which i visit when i was young ,
have my medicine and went my aunt shop slack , really cant tahan alr so call my cousin drive me back home.
eat & sleep till now just woke up .
& yes i've delayed my day of returning singapore from today till sat :)
zzz.. till here ppl ,
hopefully i can recover before monday
& is so irritating to be sick on cny ! -.-
& im getting more and more weaaak , keep falling sick !
& thats not what i want !

2009-01-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

grrrr ,
like so freak man , CHINESE NEW YEAR SICK ?!
kay , im sick , in fact seriously sick ,
fever , sore throught , cough and flu .
but well played mahjong fr these few days , th way my aunts and uncles plays different type
& yes i find this is easier to play thus i keep winning MONEY !;D hahaha!
went restaurant to eat ,
indeed a nice one , full , fun & taken lotsa photos :)
came back home , while my aunties chatting like non-stop ,
we children decided to play mahjong again ,
this time didnt really win at all -.- too sick to concentrate ..zzz
till arnd 1am , which is now they just left
& im free here to post .
photos will be post soon yea , stay tune dudes !
& well done kangbai for ytd's match though we lost :)
jiayous all th way ok ! ;D
you guys can do it & hopefully jasmine can recover soon :)
hahah.

PRAY HARD I CAN RECOVER ,
I WANTWANTWANT ATTEND SCHL & TRAINING ON MONDAY ):
I MISSS TRAINING , MISS SCHL !
thats all bye !

if dreams could comes true . . .

2009-01-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

mumiiie and me :)

some photos above are taken ytd :)
ytd was fun man , my aunt gave me a angbao of $200 !
& mahjong ytd , like omg im th big winner ? hahah .
last but not leat drank beeer , due to boredom cs afternoon nothing to do haha.
thenthen , today woke up damn early to go out with my cousin's friends ,
one is my primary schl friend and i detest all of them man ,
act cute -.- & got one damndamndamnnn guai lan lah , fcuk .
halfway , my cousin decided to part with them ,
due to some misunderstandings and their attitude towards her .
like so.... shallnt elaborate :)
went shopping tgt with my mum and aunt ,
hahahahaha bought t-shirt again ! yeah :)
3 for $50 = 3 for $25 in s'pore ?
so worth isnt it ? haha .
before coming home bought donuts and here im posting ,
mahjong later :)!
& i heard from sherie saying that she heard from her brother ,
compassvale is now losing by 3marks !
KANG BAI JIAYOU , YOU GUYS CAN DO IT !
hopefully then can win th 3marks back and im here praying hard for them !
ALL TH BEST !

2009-01-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

wellwellwell , new year was kinda ok ?
staying at home , eating , watching , sleeping and mahjong-ing ?
lols & due to boredom ,
i went to create a livejournal as i remembered some sort of crab support me to change to livejournal ? hahahah ,
but sadd she nvr online , orelse can find someone to suan alr , oops D:
hahaha , quick online crab need your help in livejournal la ,
be honoured ok ! hahahah .

actually is ok right here ,
but im just not used to my uncles and auntie ,
being so clean and need wash hands here and there ,
is very irritating -.-
watched a show just now ,
& yes i remembered th day i watch that exactly movie ,
when that exactly day somone make something for me ,
yet ....
okay just being random :)
& yes just stay tune
&my livejournal will be launch real soon :D

CRAB FASTER ONLINE LAH !
hhahaha , till here :)

2009-01-25T05:42:00.000-08:00

Happyhappppyyyyy new year everyone yo !;D

hahah im right now posting using my cousin lapppy in malaysia :)
woke up kinda early and went to my aunt house,
went temple and pray then went back to my aunt hse ,
was sleeping and sms-ing away .
eat and took taxi to beach road there take th express bus to come m'sia.
during th trip , damn coldddd
& rained ! reached malaysia arnd 8pm , damnnnn late !
Time check now is 9.44PM , right now watching th programmes heere ,
haha damn entertaining.
anw , my uncle drove me back home through motorbike,
is drizzling and damnnnn windy , THRILLLING !;D
hahah , and yes im right here posting ,

wooohooos ,
mahjong later on with my aunties and uncls ,
my hand now damn itchy alr hahahaah !
till here , photos will be uploaded k :)
loves ! byessss;D

ohyah , i went to some dude's bloggy ,
damn funny man i almost laugh my mouth off ,
ok i know how to comment alr thnks crab for your crab way of tching !
haaha & yes i guess im changing to livejournal soon ?
cos some crab is going to teach m leh ! so honoureddd .
& thnks for being there for me ok ,
and yes i know you wont dare to leak out one la hahahahah !

2009-01-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

okay short post as im rushing to packed my bag for tmr trip alr :)

see th above images ? hahah th diff between me wearing specs and w.o specs ,

to me i find it no much big ? still that same face isnt it ! -.- hahah.

anw , woke up early to meet joyce (w.o your surname alr :)!)

cut my hair , she complain is exp but to me , is worth it ? hahah.

went home slept for quite a long time and finally dragggged myself up for bugis ,

changed my shirt , didnt took long for me to find th shop ,

after that take bus 80 back to sk &

went cc , hahah jingjie is botak !

bballed till lights off & walked home .

i cant wait to wear my heels and new clotheeees hahahaahahah !;D

anw , once again ,

happy chinese new year in advance to everybody

& all th best , new yr new resolution ,

may everyone have a better , happier future ,

filled with lotsa funs and happiness !;D

haha , for those who only see me in schl ,

1week not seeing me cfm peace right ? w.o my louuuuud voice !;D

hahah hope everyone enjoy CNY !;D

miss me ok ? hahahah joking anw , i not in sing must go open champange hahahaah !

&&& ok thnks some crab for a heart-to-heart talk ytd :)!

hahahahah someone suaning skill lousier thn me , like OMG ?;O

anw , thnks for those advices and yes i may not be able do what you said as a stuborn thinking me ,but still thnks alot ok ,

hopefully i really can give up something that has no point in it anymore ,

like what you say :)

& yeah , last long anw :D

& IM NOT SOTONG YOU ASSHOLE !

& yes it will always be hidden deeply in th bottom of my heart ,

is time for me to walk another path ,

a better ones , once bitten twice shy ,

if th same situation ever happened again , i'll never fallen soo deeply anymore ,

bt theres no regrets in knowing you :)

2009-01-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

okay eventually , i went out with joyce lim , liying and sheryl today !
met 1.45pm yet i go think is 2pm ,
luckily im not latest hahaah.
trained to bugis , not much changes , as usual
packed like sardines-.-
& is freaking hot !
wanted to eat but no seats , kinda expected ?
so went bugis street walkwalk for 1hrs ++
okay im begining to feel irritated by my fickle mind ,
awhile want this , awhile want that & keep cant make up my mind -.-
& haha i was there with joyce choosing babymilo thing ,
in th end choose her choose this , in th end for freaking long ,
i decided not to buy -.- fickle minded right ?!
grrr.. hate it lools. & th shirt i bought kinda small ,
so tmr need rush go change , actually is really been long since i went bugis ,
& yes i saw ALOT of familliar ones there ,
esp YEO BOON HOWWWWW ! hahah , so sian go everywhere also will see him :x
& to my surprise i saw my idolllllll ! haah cannot write ,
cos last time write here kana leak out i treat her as idol -.-
luckily she dont mind , once bitten twice shy so yah hahaha !
im so freaking surprised lah ! hahaha she got a nice hairstyle ? lols .
thenthen , went eat longjohn , camwhorse alot , lazyyy update .
& went bugis junction bought my wallet ,
AGAIN MY FREAKING MIND , keeps me in th shop damn long man -.-
i sure gna get rid of this stupid habit of mine shld be more cruel & make fast + correct decision !
& yes new yr coming , alomost all clothes is cleared except that exactly one that tmr need rush to bugis changed -.-
& other than that , i wore specs to schl today ,
due to reduce having those irritating bums on my eyes ,
and some say ugly , some say okay , some say weird , some say look like professional ppl-.-
no choice , for my eyes sake gotta sacrifice :D hahaha , xi shen xiao wo , wan cheng da wo !~
& yes im going back m'sia on sunday ,
so im here wishing everyone in advanced
HAPPY COW YEAR , MAY ALL HAVE A BETTER NEW YR ,
BETTER LIFESTYLE AND A LIFE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS + LAUGHTERS!!!!
ALL TH BESSSST !
& i love mummyyyy ,
cos she changed th bedsheets to doraemon one !!!
& i got doraemon pyjamas !!!! IS LIKE FOR YEARS ,
SHE FINALLY AGREE WITH ME THAT " DORAEMON ROCKS !"
hahahahaha :)

& guess what ,just now came home arnd 8plus ,
mum was busy clearing things , she found those comics of doraemon i bought last time ,
& yes im now reading it , but kinda difficult due to th chinese word is old one hahahah !
& fcuk my freaking phone , though get back my earpiece ,
but th connection from usb got problem , im starting to notice ,
whenever i got new phone , begining cfm alot of problems one -.- suaysiao siah !
& im too tired to upload fotos alr , sorry guys ,
gna sleep soon after reading this 6th book of doraemon chapters !;D
& my auntie make 4 boxes of cornflakes with th honey and th dont know what on it one ,
i keep eat and eat , now left 3 box only-.-
somemore ppl give her a gift is th XIN YUN BISCUIT something like th
Pi Li MIT one , i keep eat , now left lil bit niah ,
wah if new year i stay in s'pore her food before new yr i cfm clear all for her one !
hahaha & yes i guess i will gain weight from 50kg to 55kg ?
we shall seee !
byebyeeeee ;D

2009-01-22T00:49:00.000-08:00

same routine to schl , met gf & was late so sit another side of th hall.
ms teo suddenly call me then talktalktalk..
P.e lesson was nxt , well today is kinda bored one .
then langarts , struggling to keep myself awake-.-
& lessons go on .
after schl , loitering and walking aimlessly arnd cp ,
saw YEO BOON HOW ! hahah ,
then went skcc eat since nobody's there , slacked alone there .
went back cp to loiter again and decided went to th optermerist( dunoe how spell )
checked my eyes , think is cos i wear contact lense very long , when closing eyes that time causes friction & then got bum on eyes according to ms teo EXPERIENCED sayings-.-
so went see then th person say with contact lense couldnt check much ,
then went off , saw samanthaaaa , chatted &
yeah she still so pretty !;D
then loiter at popular awhile jiu walked home .
nothing to do now , must revise my physics alr ,
cos th topic 'light' really fools me man , so difficult !
kk , till here bye :)

theres only empty promises ,
as none ever knows whats lies ahead &
thats what causes broken promise which hurts and leaves a deep scar.

2009-01-21T08:38:00.000-08:00

busy schl schedule and routine .
homeworks , ccas & schling occupied more than half of my 24hrs ,
or to be exact cut away th 6hrs of sleep shld be 18hrs.
alot of things undone , rushing those works .
oweing tcher all th forms and journal .
okay roughly , i must say my blog will be dead for just around ...
let me think... 1mth ?
im not sure. but seriously apologies to those whom i didnt relink you.
but i guess im soon relinking and linking ppl ,
cos new year is coming & im going back to malaysia till 30th ,
& i cfm i'll be bored there so i will update my templates often so yea :)
okay i finally finish Pi Li MIT ! -.-
again , th ending soooo unexpectedly & i dont know why , just kinda find it too short ?
hahah , okay i really gotta go back to my Friedrich worksheet &
history work tgt with th duty roaster arrangement form , cos i find that i've got th responsibility to settle all this as th rep :D
see im soooooo good now !
anw , had training today
sec 1s are coming in , just couldnt stop thinking th past sec 1s me ,
when i first enter th basketball court ...thinking of that ,
i laughs upon myself for couldnt even hold on to a ball man hahah .
okay shall stop my old grandmother stories , went 260 after that
& i find myself kinda weird today hahaha.
then back home with joyce , but last min i decided to take lrt ,
th best choice , got good view to see( not really? just a blue sky -.-)
& is fast cos none of th bus that can reach my house came .
& yea till now , still doing my langarts .
im still wondering , how to pass my langarts with th teaching skill of Mr Suaini's -.-
till here , i find myself getting longggg winded alr ,
& all th best for your competition tmr Joyce Limmmmm ;D !

is time to end ;D

2009-01-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

hey readers !

wellll , th previous post of mine shld be on sunday alrights.
anw , sweetheart didnt manage to go with us ytd ,
but well nxt time yea :)
went far-east with freda ,
okaay we walked from 2pm plus at town till 9pm .
non-stop ! & for your info we not wearing slippers-.-
hahah im impress abt it too !
bought 2shorts , 2top.
but th tops i bought mum dont like ):
& have a big quarrel with her ,
burst into tears , but well okay alr cos im buying another 2top to replace it.
yet at around midnight , okay my father totally pissed me offfffffff man..
whatever , sit on my bed looking out th window ,
turn here and there , cry and cry ..
slept arnd 2am plus i guess?
but i can say , after th long cry ytd night , i feel more comfortable :)

mondaaaaaaay morninnnnng , shld be sleeping till 7am plus ,
yet rush to schl for doing class board and im soooo sorry guys for overslept !
but well in th end we manage to finish it , cheeeeers yea !
lesssssssson , okay today's ALL lessons is entertainment 101%
didnt slept for ANY OF TH LESSONS !
& surprisingly , Mr Suaini's acting is great ah ? esp today his shouting -.-
claps for him and finally theres a lesson of his that contains entertainment ? hahahhaha!
afterschl , eat and went training.
damn it , JOYCEEEE LIM I WANT MY GREEENTEA !
i say sheila drink then i wont drink mah !
i dontttt careeee hahah !
training today is fun , i love it !
& B Boys lost against NORTH VISTA , well jiayous yeap !;D
dont be beaten easily , KANG BAI GOGOGOGOG !

after training im so pissed of by some fcuker ,
if you lost it , just admit it ?
for goodness sake , if you're someone without responsibilities ,
please dont be sucha kpoh lah , let dickson take also better &
i guess he wont lost it.
& yea you think im that stupid believing you left it at home ?
we shall see man , EVEN IF I GOT TO RE-DO ,
I WANT YOU TO PAY FOR THAT NEW BOOK &
thats not enough , one day i'll let you get th other half man .
you are worst than jerks !_l_
shallnt mention anymore ,
went 260 & si baodong hit my forehead ! damnnn pain leh !
played awhile and bus-ed home with joyce limmmm !
hahaha , poor thing i rant alot at her ,
but she sucha goood listening ear , she didnt grumble anything at all hahah.
thnks ok !

No. 10 or 11 ?
okay im just being raaaandom :)
i've finally found someone i wna surpass on & motivate me !

2009-01-17T19:45:00.001-08:00

going out with sweetheart and freda chuaaaaa to far-east later !
& sooo sorry vian couldnt do the Public Speaking thing with you guys ,
anw , mum went overseas again !
actually today going out with her but she not coming back till 7plus i think ,
so no choice cant go shopping with her haha.
okay will update more later on !

the dream feel so real ,

& think back about one occasions ,

i guess thats th first and last you will have with me.

i remember how you pass it to me ,

how you spend your time doing it ,

& yes im so sorry i didnt cherish it in th past,

i guess im just not meant to have something of yours ...

im willing to have the 2thing you gave back in th exchange of my life.

2009-01-16T06:23:00.000-08:00

Jiayous B girls , go on yeah :)
ok hahah , went SBC to watch B'girl's match ,
& congratulations they won against PRESBYTARIAN HIGH ,(aint sure with spelling)
haha. great job yeah !gogogo !

schled till 12.30pm ,
met bballers and went ate.
doing homework in canteen , played bball awhile.
& around 3plus we set off to SBC :D
watched their match and yeah great job done.
back to schl , lrt-ed home and changed.
came out again to 260 at there do nothing just slacking away ,
awhile later back home &
now talking to some kinda monkey.
till here :)

& shld i be or not be ?
i dont find myself fit ..

im self-conscience & i dnt wna be a disgrace .

&yes ,

we've got nothing to do with eachother anymore.

2009-01-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

its midnight now & im still flooded with homework.
but i decided to have a rest , well let me say out whats undone.
2 art hw , 1 journal which i forgotten th topic now trying hard to think
& 2 geog article ,
art draw till half ,
dont say journal alr , stupid mr suaini give us a topic abt what ,
" what you learn from friedrich this novel " something like tt .
funny , he shld be th tcher running through and tell us right ?
but we haven even started reading , he expect us to do -.-
then th geog article ... though i hate but i still gotta do.
and i still left 2mindmap and 1 reflection ):
enough, i feel my post so boring ,got lotsa homework.
but other than homework i dont know what to say alr ..
this week just seems to be a moody week,
so does today , in fact worst .
im too tired to speak out anymore ,
cos ITS ALL SO ENOUGH !

& get this clear ,
theres no such things as " i cant live w.o you "
even if there is , th person wont be you.
so yea , get it ?
when i dont speaks , that doesnt mean im a dead cat .
bye and my blog is so dead .

2009-01-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

MOODLESS TOTALLY MOODLESS _l_

stomach is superduper pain fr NO REASONS ,
& for no reasons , what the heck do you want to keep my book ?!
you think is fun ? i can tell you is not , cos getting scolding from tcher is me not you ,
so you are enjoying this game ah ? you help me take it ,
i thnk you alot , but why aint you returning me? making me worried and cry in class ,
is what you want ? fcuk ,i would rather i lost it and buy a new one than having it ,
yet someone's keeping it for no reasons . pls be more responsible
& you know who you are .
& just not in th mood ,
im still worry of my book , i dont wna buy a new one cos its continued from sec 1 ,
alot of pages is done alr ..
i dont know what to do, anyone theres for me to rant ?
tears rolling .. feeling so helpless ,
i dnt want schll , i dnt want homework but i gotta do ..
i swallow all th tears myself , but whose th one to suffer?
me , MYSELF ..
being good to others is cruel to myself , is th fact i think..
i really dont know what to do than crying..

2009-01-13T06:17:00.001-08:00

YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS ! *

see im kind though im packed with homeworks ,
i didnt neglect my bloggy !
today is really flooding with homework man ,
maths , homecon , geog article & blablabla.
whatever , tcher is crazzzzy ,
homecon workbook tell us bring back do 9pages ?!
....
anw , have practical lessons
done my muffin , not nice one leh !
somemore so er xin th process.
but when i brought home for mummy to eat ,
she finished all ! actually i only wanted to let her eat one ,
which i left for her yet she finish all ?!
hahaha , im so toucched :)
cos liying says she eat de time like abit bitter like tt ,
but mummy still can finish all of it hehe . nxt week cooking noodles ,
im sure gna let mummy taste it again !
okay, after schl got PUBLIC SPEAKING class ,
so boring was busy sms-ing away with girlf , sweetheart and kor.
walked home with sweetheart and cheryl ,
ate and home sweet home.
im damn shag that once after bathing i dint dry nor comb my hair ,
i just lie and fall asleep all th way till 7plus ,
but now i still feel sleepy , in fact i find myself so weird.
could i have diabetes ? lols i dont knw why i keep thinking this-.-
cos i slept quite early recently but just couldnt concentrateee ):
whatever ,
im going to finish my homwork asap and
okay i give up , geog sucks ,sucks like how it used to man !
i swear i wont take geog on sec3 !
okok , gtg alr.
daddy is good he knows im not aslp ,
& bought twister fries for meeee ! okay thats all. bye !

2009-01-12T06:34:00.001-08:00

short post for today ,
roughly just studying , studying and studddddying ,
then traininggg , kinda slack one cs coach focus on th b girls :)
went compass ate with huiyee ,
walked home wih sweetheart & home sweet home.
so sleepy , i gna tune in real soon !
& im seriously so impressed by this girl ,
st nicholas girls schl , she scores 11 A1s for o's
& she is a malaysian ! so proud of her ,
clapssssss ! hahaah ,
looking those seniors receiving o's result ,
some happy some disappointment , wonder whats mind in 2yrs time ?
i really cant tahan stress man , i guess my o's i'll really die haha but ,
well but studying 4yrs of sec schl life just for o's right ?
so shldnt waste it cos i will rmb how hard i try to stay awake when
im super sleepy haha ! another schl day tmr ,
i guess im sure gna try very best to stay awake but well ,
first lesson homecon and is practical ! HAHAHA I SWEAR I WONT SLEEP :)
ok till here , bye all !

2009-01-11T06:56:00.001-08:00

greaaaaat day !
hah , morning went cip ,
sorry guys for being late !
though i woke up super early , but wasted my time on my hair -.-
anw , todays cip is quite flexible we can leave anytime ,
and is like at th hardcourt near th temple which is just opposite my hse haha.
walked to rm mac eat cs th hardcourt there got nothing much to fill our stomach ,
also cos i keep complaining hungry hahaha !
& i dont knw why early th morning i went so higgggggh ,
begining they thought is cs im over hungry , but went eat mac brkfast alr ,
i saw a stall selling nasi lemak , i still want to eat -.-

then , walked to bball court 140 & plaaaaaaaay bball !
i love th court there cos sucha bad shooter like me can chop quite lot of balls there !
& cs today i wore a t-shirt writtten " sunday " is my cousin's tee and a shirt from STITCH .
& guess what sotong huiyee say ?
she say i shld wear that tee more then i can chop alot balls , siao her hah !
after that went st joseph schl for dont knw what talk ,
boring i can say and sleeping at there-.-
like finally release , ate lunch and they say im hungry ghost of 2009 ,
cos when they like just started to eat i alr ate half ,
they finishing de time i finished all alr-.-
they eat th pudding , i finished alr-.- worst , drink i also drink faster than them..zz
i swear im not hungry anot but i dont knw why i see th food i just keep eat and eat ..
normally i only like this when im moody , but for today . . . i dont knw leh ):
walked home , sleep.
mum came home and went hougang mall around 6pm.
bought my heels at D&C ,
shirt at C.O.A.X , & my mum bought a scholl shoe for herself :)
if i never force her buy she wont have buy man , keep buy my thing neglect herself haha.
ate at kptiam. disappointment aaaah , i wanted to eat th chicken rice ,
yet just 8pm niah , sell finish liaoszxzzzzz-.-
luckily mum order yong tau fu and i eat some heeh :)
trained back to compass , was trying to find a schl bag ,
but didnt manage , decided to go buy ear stick ,
wtf man , if i dont so choosy faster come out i wld have ...
no need to walked behind x . grrrrr...
mum saw x & say he gotta buisinessman face hahahahahahahahahaha !
but she didnt say x handsome-.-
went sportslink , bought a adidas bag ,
i find it nice cos is plain and simple :) !
ok la i think i will use till sec3 or june then changed ,
but i promised mum that i gna use this bag when i go kl trip :)
went popular bought colour papers for class board ,
dont knw why ms teo let me incharge i sooo iresposible ,
but if i nv do i feel so guilty leh dont knw why so now doing lorrr hehe.
walked home with mummy and i saw x once again whoooos !
ok la , till here alr , gna sleep by 11.30pm.
i love todaaaaay with mummyyyy ,
it seems like we were back to how we used to when im just a lil girl hehe !

im in sucha confusion that ,

i've really given up on decision but to let th time prove everything ,

cos i guess im tired to love another but not you. * :)

2009-01-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

lazzzzzzzzaye day todaaaaaaaaaaay ..
bored , boredddd , boring !
bball at cc and 260 ,
ate , chats , shoot balls & walked home .
rouggghly lah lazzzy to post .
& im so tired that im going sleep le tmr got cip early morning ,
bye ppl bless me a better day tmr !
& Happy Belated Birthday FredaChuaZhiYun:)
all th best in anglican high alrights , strive your best !
takecares & sorry is a late wishing !

i laughs upon th word " friends"

i've met lots but none truthful ones ,

whom i really could speak all my hearts and souls out.

which were fake , which were true i couldnt even differentiate ,

& i dont know how long could i tolerate anymore ,

i guess is just th problem of mine or maybe ,

i dont suits anyone .

2009-01-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

Nothing much ,
schling , tired , tryouts , training ...
whatever now in my mind is today is kinda fun day ?
sec 1s are so fun mans ! i can joke and try to be funny with them ,
but theres some quite guai lan ? lols & i even saw one doing shuffle-.-
whatever, homed with huiyee and
wanted to buy drinks for cousin , yet drop my 2dollar a OLD AND MOONSHAPE $2,
turned and saw an indian holding it ,
when i tell huiyee he say he heard ,
ohyeah , so great you heard it .
you said " dnt think i dont knw chinese ah , want say me say infront of me "
for your info im infront of you , just right beside you and you facing me so im infront .
then i said " yah i saw you took my moonshape $2 th moment i turned & you look suspecting "
he said " what prove you have ?" ( obviously i dont have -.-)
then i said " i saw it with my own eyes "
he replied " dont small small act big "
dont you guys think whatever i ask him he replied in other way ?
fcuk you i act big ? oh sorry i dont act big im just trying to say out th FACTS dude_l_
& when i go around asking people " did you see a old $2 note dropped ? "
you replied me with a look and you didnt reply a "NO "
& th uncle behind me reply me with " drop alr very difficult find dao dont find le "
dont you guys find it weird? it all happens with kinda lots of loop holes.
& idiotic indian ,
when i look at you when you holding on to that $2 EXACTLY TH SAME OLD NOTE OF $2,
you give me that fcuking arrogant look ,
if i aint wrong you alr in th queue , tell me why theres need for you go behind ?
fcuking cheebye .
& for goodness sake if you didnt do it why must you react so big ?
cant you just like " hey i didnt took it for your info " cant ?
i guess even a ahbeng also will reply something like that or say " i didnt took it "
can alr right ? why ?! want fight with a secondary schl girl ?
fcuk lah horh , if i happened to see you in compass again ,
i will freaking diao you all th way till you come scold me and i wld say
" oh how have you been ? i've actually cursing you all along yeah btw ,
i forgotten to say that actually i can take down th CCTV of 7-eleven to see th truth ,
but well i just so happened to forget it man ! oh btw i dont act big leh im still a youngster "
& i'll see what you reply fcuking indian ( i aint being racist)
nvm , just treat that i lost this $2 for good and
you stolen it for WHOLE LIFETIME OF BADLUCK _l_
& i've got no much mood to angry abt this but other things ,
bye readers :)

Im holding on to something and

I do not know why

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know youre unlike any other?

Youll always be my thunder, and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I dont wanna ever love another

Youll always be my thunder..

2009-01-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

Nothing much today ..
dont feel like posting it.
& time check is around 10.26pm ,
i aint asleep neither have i done my homework .
not really in a good mood , just moodswing i guess .
bye .

feeling so tired either mentally or physically ,

& fear is what im experiencing for things im doing now ..

im afraid of th history playing all over again ,

& i dnt want ...

nobody knws & i really need a listening ear , but . . .

2009-01-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

OFFFFF TO DO HOMWORK ! ;D
back to posting real soon:)

editeedd/}
okay im back , i finish my hw within 15mins-.-
cs im real tired and decided to leave my jian bao for tmr or thurs :)
anw today schl was fine ,im getting to love sec2's life .
having a talking cock tcher is so fun for maths !
but i hate most is th mr robotic-suaini ,
his lesson is boredboredborrrrrrrrreddd but im still able to hold back frm sleeping ok !
tday homecon is freaking boring cs no practical ,
slept wake up and continuously alot of times -.-

blablablas , schl ended .
went find shuqing and rest .
walked to compass with viviaaaaaan .
bought my books at pop , i still left geogggg and tmr got geog !
grr-.- I DONT WANT FAIL MY GEOG I SWEAR !
went cc and they having some sort of trial or whatsoever ?
all are noobs( no offence ! cs im not pro also. ) like those first few times play bball de .
then got this uncle called us joined and play match ,
ahah with 3pointer shooter , 2 powerforward pros and noob me centre ,
we won :) hahah .
slacked and slacked till arnd evening went out court shooting ,
and here comes th crazy part , asshole jingjie and shuqing keep on fool me make me laugh like freak ! oh anw we were actually playing 2 vs 2 ,
while me and junming vs jingjie and shuqing .hahahah !
obviously they will win isnt it ! :x
then play and play , i go crazy and laugh till my lungs out ,
got ppl want use court so let them use lo ,
wait prisc come and off we go frm cc .
went popular with prisc while shuqing went home
& jingjie and junming went eat.
& i went popular damn xia suay la ! dont want mention le :x
bought sushi for dinner ,took bus and homed .
my mum went overseas once again ! called her awhile and now im enjoying myself .
eating sushi , using comp to listen 933fm , bloghopping
& going pack my bag soon cs im real tired & to refrain myself frm sleepin ,
i gotta get enough sleep .
bye dearest all !

just a shoulder away , i thought i wld not have seen you ,

yet we met at th junction ..

i wonder are we meant to meet only when each of us walking different path ?

or it meant something like we arent' meant ?

...

2009-01-05T06:36:00.000-08:00

hello ppl !

yawnnns* schl is as boring as ever ,
yet i can say today is counted okay alr cs i only slept during th mr SU-AI-NI class,
damn it girlf say he asked me wake up i didnt :x
haha ok im gna make sure i will not sleep in his class ,
i wna get off th sleepy me in th past sec 1h haha !

anw overall is ok ,
& this time i really put 100% attention in geog already ,
i dnt wna anymore faill :)
& im very confidence in scoring maths with MR NAZIED as our teacher ,
hahaah im so motivate man lols !
ok , im off to dry my hair and sleeeeeep ,
todays training was usual but coach keep call us run -.-
went cc then 260 awhile and off arnd 8plus ,
homed arnd 9.30pm .
& bye ppls ! wont be online-ing and blogging often anymore :)

absence makes th heart grow fonder ,

& yes i saw you today ! ;D

2009-01-04T06:27:00.000-08:00

FATE ?
i laugh upon this words , which really fools me around.
fated to meet yet ending up with hurts .

moodswing..moodswing...
had a quarrel with mum ,
she just never understands me , never trust me .
she simply stick to her thought of hers.
she said she brought a wallet for me and yeah thnks .
but you couldnt blame me if i dont like isnt it ?
you said i always stick to black , for goodness sake , i remember once ,
when we went shopping , a brown ELLE'S wallet caught my eyes ,
yet you disagreed from buying it .
remember ? so dont say i stick to black for my only choice .
& th thought of black as a unlucky colours ,
is super childish , please freaking get it off & fyi ,
i like red .
after times and times of quarrels ,you nv seems to understands me.
yeah you work for me and i spend your money but
do you ever knws that being able to earn money for me to spend isnt th main ?
being able to hear me out , understand me & know what i want is then th impt point .
im too lazy to say all this out anymore this time ,
how i wish you can really change , but you never..ever..
cos you always just stick to that thinking of yours , you simply nv tried to understand me.
or i shld say , is maybe my fault for not thinking of how you feel ..
dont say why i've nv speak to you well ,
cs im alr too tired ...too tired of your naggings .
when im outside doing my things ,
in phone you simply nag this and that , i told you many times before ,
but you nv changed .. you're always saying im wrong ,
i shld changed .. but what abt you then ?
i've got nth to say , maybe i changed ..
maybe im too selfish , i dont knw ..

& yes out of nowhere i came upon something ..
& may i ask do ppl always changed so easily ?
leaving a word sorry and changed 360degree ,
isit what humans like to ?
being so selfish of how th other ones thinking ?
or maybe in th begining they dont even care but just apologise for clearing their sense of guilt.
just out of sudden , i came upon this thinking ..
i dont knw why and dont ask me why &
dont bother abt it cs ... i guess is just rubbish ..
but well , i guess just a normal moodswing ,
schl for tmr , i guess it will be bored in fact , superbored . . .
but still gotta get used to it & i guess im gna be on bed soon ,
but i dont think i wont be able to sleep .

& fyi to my mum , is not i dont want go out with you ,
is not i look down on how you look but ,
is that i knw for sure you wont agree to what i want .
so pls stop that thinking of yours , putting words into your mind
WHICH I'VE NEVER EVER MENTION OF IT .

2009-01-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

a super tiring day !
first of all , im super sorry my dearest sweetheart for being overslept ,
and not able to eat brkfast with you as i promised !

haha , my gastric pain is better already :)
woke up arnd 6am plus ,
rushed and met jasmine .
haha , she's th only one who replied my smses.
anw , not much ppl turn up though .
when almost all reached ,
we went find junting but in th first place we dont knw where she live-.-
u-turn back to schl outside ,
met sheila and went in schl for preparation.
recruitment was superduper tiring i can say ,
my back was sweating like hell ,
& i find that this yr alot sec 1ones very guailan ,
esp some boys , haha vivian kana suan for short !
surprisingly , theres quite a few sec 1 i've seen is taller than me ! haha.
anw , everything stopped arnd 11plus going 12pm .
hmm , quite a few name written for registration , not bad ok ! haha.
finish packing everything , im seriously dead beat man -.-
went ate at compass with shuyi , shuqing and vivian .
bought my plaster for my wound ,
home-ed ,bathed and use lappyy.
fall asleep till 6plus , when my mum homed .
rush here and there to attend my grandma's birthday dinner ,
th food is okok ? lols acceptable .
cabbed home afterthat and here im blogging .

i've been changing and changing my skin , over and over again ,
still i cnt find any special or nice one ,
so whatever just use these plain one first , my lappy is so hot now ,
really got to stop alr , bye all !
& i wantwantwant get my tongue peircing done asap ):
from last yr till now ! who knows where to get it ? tag me , thnks
& i'll love you tons and tons and tonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns !

bugis ? is been mths since i went there o.o

如果要奉献我眼泪

除了你谁都不能给

见过你的美

我还能爱谁我

一路的追意

冷却不心灰

我的世界

走不出你背影的范围

没有你会面目全非

我还能爱谁. . .

2009-01-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

Having a super utimately gastric pain right now ,
out of no reasons -.-
updating later ,
gotta get some rest while waiting for my father's supper.
stay tune peeps and loves !

2009-01-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

hellooo peeps !

th first post for 2009 :)
haha , ok im right now rushing my homework ,
though is schl reopening tmr yet im still not in th mood ,
but well i've got to cs of my aims :)
& i've not bought my schl bag so gotta use back th old one !

hmm , lets talk about my resolution (aiming) for this yr ,
-well just hope i could spend a happier yr than 2008.
-play well for schl team as a centre & improve in my bball skills.
- get th top 20 or 30 for my examinations :)
- less problems in friendship
-forget him by March
- will not be in love or 've a crush on any guy for this one whole year
-got to know more friends
- spend a unfrgettable 15th birthday with cliques
- hope all my loves ones spend their days happily & not much problem appeared to them.
- have a new OWN house near rivervale plaza (plsssss )':)
-able to promote sec3 successfully & get the course im interested in.
- grow fitter , slimmer & tan !
- find a part-time job asap !
-may all my wishes accomplished & may i and others lead a happier life on 2009 !

hahah , okay i guess thats alll ?
schooling tmr and im so not prepared to face anyone cos of my
FREAKING HAIR ):
anw life still gotta go on yeah ?
gotta rush my homwork already , bye dearest all !

i regretted not turning back & look at you ,

missess you & im real tired .

i've no idea on how to forget you , tell me pls , anyone ?

maybe as times goes it would fade gradually ,

hopefully . . .